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Struggling to cope with burn out

Ren

Hello, I’m Ren and I’m new here. I hope you are doing well. I just wanted to ask some advice from other autistic adults who may have experienced something similar to me or have insights about autistic burn outs/burn out cycles. Apologies in advance for a long post and thank you so much for reading. 

I have been in a burn out cycle for many years and it’s something I can’t seem to get out of. The burn outs have lessened in frequency over the past year as I’ve been trying very hard to be kind and accommodating to myself.

A burn out started 3 days ago and I’m really struggling. I hate feeling like this and not being able to do the things I usually enjoy. Even activities such as lego, knitting and watching my comfort tv shows are too overstimulating for me when I’m burnt out. These are usually my soothing techniques to help me regulate myself.
The trouble is, when I listen to my symptoms telling me to just lie down and rest- all I’m left with are distressing thoughts, feelings of inadequacy, bad memories etc. For this reason, despite my overstimulation to sounds and sights, I put on my comfort tv show. I guess my question is how do I accommodate my burn out symptoms whilst not falling into the hole of intrusive thoughts? I’ve only had 2 meltdowns in the past 3 days which is nice, but I am feeling physically horrible and mentally drained. 

My other question is about how I can potentially even get out of this cycle? I am currently unemployed, living with my parents and getting a lot of external support (ie.therapy and care from my parents). When I’m not burnt out I mostly only do activities I enjoy/involve some level of self care. 
But even with this level of accommodation I am allowing myself, I am still getting burnt out. I really want to work towards getting a job in something I will enjoy but surely if I’m getting burnt out from doing so little, it will get worse if I have a job. I have previously done a lot with my life, I’ve been employed, travelled etc and proceeded to have long lasting, regular burn outs that were a lot worse than my current ones.

Please let me know if you have had a similar experience or if you have any advice on either of these issues. 
Thank you very much, i hope your day is going well. 

Parents

  • Hi there

    I am not diagnosed as yet - two of my adult children are and I have struggled my entire life. Self diagnosed if you will. It all falls into place. I was diagnosed instead with bipolar disorder as a young adult which I gather is quite a common misdiagnosis. 

    I have found ways to help myself despite not knowing, which may be helpful to you.

    Have you tried yoga and meditation. The movement paired with the breathing and the focus needed trains your brain and body to focus. When overwhelm hits this is a magic pill for me with training. It gives my overstimulated mind something to focus on and the loud thoughts disappear into background, most of the time. Sitting meditation is gold...with practise. At first it was just me sitting down with my racing thoughts and it didnt help at all so maybe not the best place to start.

    Walking meditation was easier to begin with as you are again focusing on body breath and timing.

    Breathing well also is very calming for the nervous system. Something I find enormously helpful when out and about - the breath is with you wherever you go.

    When I first began I was so stressed out my breathing was all up in my shoulders. I couldnt take a belly breath. Now I can. Its my default. Its worth persevering with for sure.

    This level of awareness also taught me to recognise when things are starting to build so I can potentially adjust. I can spot stress starting in my body and breathing.

    I also learned distracting myself with tv shows only adds to the pain. All of the things neurotypical people do to relax are kind of nails on a chalkboard for me. Better to take a warm soothing bath, and get comfy with a good book than turn on a bright loud flashy bangy TV. I dont even own a tv now. I also need alone time. Just me. I describe it as feeling 'full up'.

    Yoga nidra is also a very soothing option. Available on youtube. You can lay in bed for this one and the instructor talks you through focusing on parts of your body to deeply relax. I almost never make it to the end without nodding off though lol.

    At first these things didnt feel that effective but with practise you get to recognise your level of 'relaxed'. I dont know about you but I was never relaxed because I was doing all the wrong things that other people could do and have a great time doing it. I was a ball of stress.  

    Hopefully managing the stress by learning to spot the early signs and practising even if you dont feel stressed will help with the burnout. I myself was so stressed all the time I didnt know how stressed I was. It was just normal. Only when I began to relax could I spot it.

Reply

  • Hi there

    I am not diagnosed as yet - two of my adult children are and I have struggled my entire life. Self diagnosed if you will. It all falls into place. I was diagnosed instead with bipolar disorder as a young adult which I gather is quite a common misdiagnosis. 

    I have found ways to help myself despite not knowing, which may be helpful to you.

    Have you tried yoga and meditation. The movement paired with the breathing and the focus needed trains your brain and body to focus. When overwhelm hits this is a magic pill for me with training. It gives my overstimulated mind something to focus on and the loud thoughts disappear into background, most of the time. Sitting meditation is gold...with practise. At first it was just me sitting down with my racing thoughts and it didnt help at all so maybe not the best place to start.

    Walking meditation was easier to begin with as you are again focusing on body breath and timing.

    Breathing well also is very calming for the nervous system. Something I find enormously helpful when out and about - the breath is with you wherever you go.

    When I first began I was so stressed out my breathing was all up in my shoulders. I couldnt take a belly breath. Now I can. Its my default. Its worth persevering with for sure.

    This level of awareness also taught me to recognise when things are starting to build so I can potentially adjust. I can spot stress starting in my body and breathing.

    I also learned distracting myself with tv shows only adds to the pain. All of the things neurotypical people do to relax are kind of nails on a chalkboard for me. Better to take a warm soothing bath, and get comfy with a good book than turn on a bright loud flashy bangy TV. I dont even own a tv now. I also need alone time. Just me. I describe it as feeling 'full up'.

    Yoga nidra is also a very soothing option. Available on youtube. You can lay in bed for this one and the instructor talks you through focusing on parts of your body to deeply relax. I almost never make it to the end without nodding off though lol.

    At first these things didnt feel that effective but with practise you get to recognise your level of 'relaxed'. I dont know about you but I was never relaxed because I was doing all the wrong things that other people could do and have a great time doing it. I was a ball of stress.  

    Hopefully managing the stress by learning to spot the early signs and practising even if you dont feel stressed will help with the burnout. I myself was so stressed all the time I didnt know how stressed I was. It was just normal. Only when I began to relax could I spot it.

Children
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