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Struggling to cope with burn out

Ren

Hello, I’m Ren and I’m new here. I hope you are doing well. I just wanted to ask some advice from other autistic adults who may have experienced something similar to me or have insights about autistic burn outs/burn out cycles. Apologies in advance for a long post and thank you so much for reading. 

I have been in a burn out cycle for many years and it’s something I can’t seem to get out of. The burn outs have lessened in frequency over the past year as I’ve been trying very hard to be kind and accommodating to myself.

A burn out started 3 days ago and I’m really struggling. I hate feeling like this and not being able to do the things I usually enjoy. Even activities such as lego, knitting and watching my comfort tv shows are too overstimulating for me when I’m burnt out. These are usually my soothing techniques to help me regulate myself.
The trouble is, when I listen to my symptoms telling me to just lie down and rest- all I’m left with are distressing thoughts, feelings of inadequacy, bad memories etc. For this reason, despite my overstimulation to sounds and sights, I put on my comfort tv show. I guess my question is how do I accommodate my burn out symptoms whilst not falling into the hole of intrusive thoughts? I’ve only had 2 meltdowns in the past 3 days which is nice, but I am feeling physically horrible and mentally drained. 

My other question is about how I can potentially even get out of this cycle? I am currently unemployed, living with my parents and getting a lot of external support (ie.therapy and care from my parents). When I’m not burnt out I mostly only do activities I enjoy/involve some level of self care. 
But even with this level of accommodation I am allowing myself, I am still getting burnt out. I really want to work towards getting a job in something I will enjoy but surely if I’m getting burnt out from doing so little, it will get worse if I have a job. I have previously done a lot with my life, I’ve been employed, travelled etc and proceeded to have long lasting, regular burn outs that were a lot worse than my current ones.

Please let me know if you have had a similar experience or if you have any advice on either of these issues. 
Thank you very much, i hope your day is going well. 

Parents

  • Firstly I just want to mention that you come across as so kind and thoughtful in your post. I’m sorry that you’re experience repeated cycles of burnout in this way. I think it’s something many of us are familiar with. It’s hard to know what’s best isn’t it? In general I find that some level of low demand occupation (I don’t mean paid necessarily- I’m think more of things we can choose to do from home etc) helps me to feel less overwhelmed. Things like going for a walk, or tidying a draw, or making something good to eat. Drawing if I feel I can do that. I find that just resting or watching tv can make me feel more tense and ruminating etc. I think moving our body can help, I also find music extremely helpful. 
    Most all try to be kind to yourself and not add to your suffering by blaming yourself in any way.  Take care and good luck. 

  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    Thank you Kate. I really appreciate your response. I think I might go for a little walk this evening now there are less people out and about. Today I managed to have a bath, go down stairs and post on here for the first time  so I feel a sense of accomplishment. Take care also. 

  • in reply to Ren

    It is really beautiful outside at the moment - not sure if you live where there are lots of trees but where we live there’s a lot and it’s so beautiful at the moment, and not very cold. Really nice! I think these small things can really help. Mindfulness practices in general I find really helpful. Re. having a bath - both myself and my son don’t much enjoy baths and showers (especially in the winter months) so we always feel a sense of accomplishment after them! To some people who aren’t autistic I’m sure this would seem odd - but to us we feel pretty proud of ourselves once it’s over with! 

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  • in reply to Ren

    It is really beautiful outside at the moment - not sure if you live where there are lots of trees but where we live there’s a lot and it’s so beautiful at the moment, and not very cold. Really nice! I think these small things can really help. Mindfulness practices in general I find really helpful. Re. having a bath - both myself and my son don’t much enjoy baths and showers (especially in the winter months) so we always feel a sense of accomplishment after them! To some people who aren’t autistic I’m sure this would seem odd - but to us we feel pretty proud of ourselves once it’s over with! 

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