Hi, this post is going to be negative.
Im unstable and exhausted and still trying. The general public have been making it worse and my GDPR has been spread and people have been entering homeless home and going through my things.
Thats not how it started as my GDPR had already been spread and my phone hacked.
To try to explain this. It started with my ex emotionally abusing me and coercive controlling me. I misunderstood social communication because of the way him and his family and people communicate. Ideas of reference he instead called it subliminal messages. I was coerced into MH and medications.
once the medications started it got worse.
Start was 
️ Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Coercive controlling, ideas of reference and medications and full blown Degradation.
For a full 22years of constant coercive control disguised as care, Abuse disguised as care. Confusion and polypharmacy and iatrogenic harm.
Im unstable and reactive and can’t speak to people properly or take things the right way.
it’s a mess.
my information has been spread and I was made medically psychotic for years through medication induced .
i can’t reply to messages properly and my social skills are messed up.
I unfortunately fall out with everyone when I actually don’t mean it. It’s because I’m ill.
my words come out wrong and I’ve been diagnosed with Paranoid personality disorder and I have still been getting emotionally abused and was trying to get well and never got well.
my brain is under attack constantly by everyone and everything and I can’t think straight to communicate and can’t understand how I’m meant to take anything as it’s been deliberately messed up and it’s ingrained and entrenched.
my information has been spread to humiliate degrade and further entrench and ingrain and destabilise me.
I’ve been made this way.
There’s no one strong enough to help. I never want to see the mental health again.
If there was someone strong enough out there who could help me to fix this and help me regulate my brain that would be a miracle. But they just prescribe medications when I actually need a family or people who are friends who could cope with this on a daily basis until it settles and that is impossible to find.
I’ve been needing to have a partner or friend who doesn’t exist in real life who would be able to help regulate me and counteract the harm done and keep me right and understand the misunderstandings and help me without being angry or offended.
A calm person who can understand and let this settle down and help me Stop this harm.
Not medications and not MH professionals.
sorry for this vent that sounds selfish I think probably but again that’s me jumping about automatically thinking that everything I say and do sounds about me when it’s actually me trying to explain I’m unstable and have No self esteem and reactive as I can’t interpret texts and humour and social interaction as I’ve als practically been a hermit recluse for 20yrs and my life’s been spread around to degrade and humiliate me further and further and no one could take the shame and embarrassment and degradation and that’s isolated me more.
Domestic abuse , Medication, reactive abuse, Humiliation, degradation, isolation, social misunderstandings, made psychotic, brain under attack constantly with all this.
sorry for this.
if I had someone who could help I would appreciate it. But it’s overwhelming to everyone in regards to how to fix it and it doesn’t stop.
I need someone who can overlook my reaction and understand.
Ps I hope your all well and sorry for this post.
