Masking Tips

As others have said, masking more is unlikely to be a sustainable thing for you in the long term. I realised that I was autistic after 40+ years of masking that left me feeling pretty burnt out and seeking answers for why I was struggling. What is helping me now, is to accept my autism and try to mask less. I don't have too many physical tells, that I know of, like stunning, but I am socially awkward and very guarded. What is helping me, through therapy, is to accept myself more and worry less about what other people think. As long as I am not harming anyone or being deliberately rude, it's OK for others to find me strange or not really know what to make of me.

You don't say how old you are but I completely get that "not wanting to be perceived" thing. I used to want to move through the world invisibly, drawing no attention to myself, petrified that I would do something that would make everyone turn and stare at me. It's very debilitating. All I can say is that that did fade over time to the point where I wouldn't say I'm 100% over it but it's much less of an issue. It's very easy to say to someone that nobody else is as interested in them as they think, but you have to live enough life to see that for yourself and learn it, through repeated experience, if that makes sense.

It sounds like therapy might be very helpful to you if you can find a therapist who themselves is autistic. I've been seeing a therapist for about 8 months now and, although there is still plenty of work to do, it has been immensely helpful to me to just be able to tell someone else everything, without fear of judgement or shame.

As others have said, masking more is unlikely to be a sustainable thing for you in the long term. I realised that I was autistic after 40+ years of masking that left me feeling pretty burnt out and seeking answers for why I was struggling. What is helping me now, is to accept my autism and try to mask less. I don't have too many physical tells, that I know of, like stunning, but I am socially awkward and very guarded. What is helping me, through therapy, is to accept myself more and worry less about what other people think. As long as I am not harming anyone or being deliberately rude, it's OK for others to find me strange or not really know what to make of me.

You don't say how old you are but I completely get that "not wanting to be perceived" thing. I used to want to move through the world invisibly, drawing no attention to myself, petrified that I would do something that would make everyone turn and stare at me. It's very debilitating. All I can say is that that did fade over time to the point where I wouldn't say I'm 100% over it but it's much less of an issue. It's very easy to say to someone that nobody else is as interested in them as they think, but you have to live enough life to see that for yourself and learn it, through repeated experience, if that makes sense.

It sounds like therapy might be very helpful to you if you can find a therapist who themselves is autistic. I've been seeing a therapist for about 8 months now and, although there is still plenty of work to do, it has been immensely helpful to me to just be able to tell someone else everything, without fear of judgement or shame.