Masking Tips

FUB39 said:

I just want to blend in, and try and join in with things to appear "normal".

I've tried that route many times and it either gets too exhausting to sustain or I end up saying something that breaks the picture I was trying to paint of myself and I end up being a focus of attention rather than just skating by unnoticed.

The one approach that worked for me is to be my own sort of character when around others - I'm quiet, pay attention, offer good advice when asked but otherwise just sort of co-exist without the need to be always making an effort and trying to be something I'm not. The character should be close to who you feel you are and not who you think you should be.

Being great at your job helps in work situations as people will often include you in things because you have helped them out before and they will often include you socially as a "thank you". Not getting drawn into the desire to be like the others and be as rowdy helps but when alcohol is involved things get a whole lot harder to manage so I tend to skip these situaitons.

I also found that moving to management helped a lot as the workers don't typically like to socialise with the managers much unless the managers are paying. Other managers are a weird bunch though - lots of paranoia, bad behaviour, insecurities and a fair bit of narcassism is to be found so a tough crowd generally.

What helps me the most with avoiding the outward signs of autism and ADHD is meditation - when you get good at it you can use it to quickly bring down your anxiety levels and reduce the need for stims and regain more control of your focus. This took me years to get good at but was so valuable once I was there.

FUB39 said:

I just want to blend in, and try and join in with things to appear "normal".

I've tried that route many times and it either gets too exhausting to sustain or I end up saying something that breaks the picture I was trying to paint of myself and I end up being a focus of attention rather than just skating by unnoticed.

The one approach that worked for me is to be my own sort of character when around others - I'm quiet, pay attention, offer good advice when asked but otherwise just sort of co-exist without the need to be always making an effort and trying to be something I'm not. The character should be close to who you feel you are and not who you think you should be.

Being great at your job helps in work situations as people will often include you in things because you have helped them out before and they will often include you socially as a "thank you". Not getting drawn into the desire to be like the others and be as rowdy helps but when alcohol is involved things get a whole lot harder to manage so I tend to skip these situaitons.

I also found that moving to management helped a lot as the workers don't typically like to socialise with the managers much unless the managers are paying. Other managers are a weird bunch though - lots of paranoia, bad behaviour, insecurities and a fair bit of narcassism is to be found so a tough crowd generally.

What helps me the most with avoiding the outward signs of autism and ADHD is meditation - when you get good at it you can use it to quickly bring down your anxiety levels and reduce the need for stims and regain more control of your focus. This took me years to get good at but was so valuable once I was there.