I had the worst meltdown of my life about two months ago when I was in A&E for way longer than I expected, with the worst part being that I had no idea how much longer I'd have to wait (it turned into like 7 hours, messing up all my plans and routines, which of course is nobody's fault since the NHS is under so much pressure but a meltdown cannot be reasoned with)
I'm 18 (and in this case, probably lucky that I'm a rather small female). By the fourth hour(?) I was inconsolable in one of the big toilet rooms as it was my only place for privacy - I was screaming into my hoodie (to soften the noise), kicking the walls and eventually I threw myself on the floor and kept hitting myself with all the power in my fists. By the time I got to talk to a medic, I just couldn't stop crying and I couldn't answer their questions clearly. After five or six hours, they kept telling me I'd be able to go home soon but they were wrong every time. I shut myself in another large toilet and went through it all again. I went back out, crying so so hard in front of my mum and my doctor, pleading to go home. All I could say was "I need to go home" over and over. I wasn't taking reason, I just needed to get out. I went back and forth between the two places and settled in the toilets for quite some time at one point. I turned off the light and lay down on the floor, laid my hoodie down as a makeshift soft surface, put on my headphones and watched my guilty pleasure children's animated show. It kept me calm for a while. I even fell asleep curled up on the floor for about twenty minutes at one point, but I eventually got impatient and went out to find them. They said to give it more time and that's when I snapped. I was being so damn loud if I remember correctly. I couldn't give a *** how childish I was or however people saw me. It's pretty embarrassing now, but at the time I didn't care.
At that point the doctor said I could go and sit in my mum's car instead and he'd call us when we were ok to go home. I ran out of there without a second thought, all the way to the car and as soon as she unlocked it from a distance, I flung myself in the back seat and screamed the scream I'd wanted to let out for all those hours in there. Even when my mum arrived, I kept screaming. I didn't care, I'm lucky she was so forgiving afterwards.
It was all so weird. I felt like an actual child again - out of control anger, running away, crying in front of everyone without a shred of embarrassment, and my mum was hugging and talking to me in a way we haven't done since I was a little kid. I was trying to research whatever the hell happened but it's so unclear and I don't like what I have found tbh. I thought I'd ask personally instead. Makes things clearer. Because if this sort of thing happens again then I want to be ready.
(Side note: the tests came back fine. I'm just a massive hypochondriac)
