• Replies 10 replies
  • Subscribers 8 subscribers
  • Views 453 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Difficulty tolerating work colleagues and confrontations

Despair25

Working in an office I have had a number of confrontations with work colleagues. I have felt generally tense and uncomfortable and people rub me up the wrong way, agitate me, irritate me. I can end up getting argumentative, saying bad things and on occasion have shouted at a colleague in the face and a few times has resulted in getting into a bit of trouble and lost jobs as I just don't get along with colleagues. I hate having to be around them and hate social events finding any excuse possible to avoid them.

I just want to be on my own but am forced to endure this to earn the money to live. At the end of the working day and in lunch breaks I can't leave soon enough to get away from them and when confined in the office I feel very defensive and ready to snap at anyone. I'm sat in the middle of a busy office and people are always walking around and having conversations around me.

Is there anything I can do as I'm starting to feel tense again with interactions with one work colleague and their attitude and fearing if they intimidate me as they have done before I may lash out and get into trouble.

I don't know what's wrong with me but I just want to be at home and not have to interact with work colleagues.

Parents

  • I have usually managed to fit in quite well as I work in a research lab so there tend to be some like minded people and I can talk about my special interest without it standing out too much. I lived and spent time in labs in different countries in Europe but I recently moved out of Europe and the cultural differences and language barrier is massive. I was completely unprepared and it has led to some misunderstandings and some quite passive aggressive (or not so passive) behaviour against me. It has made me feel really bad and isolated. I feel like I have to be constantly on my guard about what I say and do which is very difficult- usually in a research lab it’s fine to ask questions and make suggestions and talk freely but here everything gets taken badly and as a criticism even when not intended. In addition people often don’t apologise as that would mean admitting they did something wrong. This apparently is a cultural thing but it still makes it hard. I spend as little time as possible in the office now, working from home where I can or hiding in some lab or working late or weekends when less people are around. However this has taken one of the big positives about working in academia - I really don’t fit in here and I have no energy to be so hyper careful and have to mask even more. The job is already demanding enough and pushes me to my limits. 

  • in reply to Ann :)

    Thanks Ann, I do thankfully work from home a fair bit and also opted for hours where I can be on my own more. My job is very demanding too and I find it very stressful.

Reply Children
No Data