Difficulty tolerating work colleagues and confrontations

Despair25 said:

on occasion have shouted at a colleague in the face and a few times has resulted in getting into a bit of trouble and lost jobs as I just don't get along with colleagues.

Do you acknowledge that your behaviour here is completely unacceptable, no matter what you find to be agitating you?

Do any of your colleagues get the same treatment and respond the same way?

Despair25 said:

I don't know what's wrong with me

Without knowing the details of the situation, I would say self control is likely to be the issue. Your responses to the stimuli are causing you to build the internal pressure until you break and "lash out" as you describe it.

Since you say you need to remain in work, I would suggest seeing a therapist and work on your emotional self control as we have no way to control the colleagues and their bad behaviour so we should work on controlling the one thing that is in out power.

In a bid to find some satisfaction in all this hell, I personally would find ways to entrap these colleagues in a way that teaches them that they cannot get away with it. Ideally this is getting them recorded in one of their blatant abuses (just winding you up or irritating you isn't enough, it has to be a form of gross misconduct so check the employee handbook for what this is) and escalate it to human resources and keep evidence of all your interactions, including a diary of these events and the names of witnesses etc.

Finding the self control not to do something unpleasant to them is hard, but the satisfaction of seeing them marched off the premises in dismissal is worth it.

All in my opinion of course.

Despair25 said:

on occasion have shouted at a colleague in the face and a few times has resulted in getting into a bit of trouble and lost jobs as I just don't get along with colleagues.

Do you acknowledge that your behaviour here is completely unacceptable, no matter what you find to be agitating you?

Do any of your colleagues get the same treatment and respond the same way?

Despair25 said:

I don't know what's wrong with me

Without knowing the details of the situation, I would say self control is likely to be the issue. Your responses to the stimuli are causing you to build the internal pressure until you break and "lash out" as you describe it.

Since you say you need to remain in work, I would suggest seeing a therapist and work on your emotional self control as we have no way to control the colleagues and their bad behaviour so we should work on controlling the one thing that is in out power.

In a bid to find some satisfaction in all this hell, I personally would find ways to entrap these colleagues in a way that teaches them that they cannot get away with it. Ideally this is getting them recorded in one of their blatant abuses (just winding you up or irritating you isn't enough, it has to be a form of gross misconduct so check the employee handbook for what this is) and escalate it to human resources and keep evidence of all your interactions, including a diary of these events and the names of witnesses etc.

Finding the self control not to do something unpleasant to them is hard, but the satisfaction of seeing them marched off the premises in dismissal is worth it.

All in my opinion of course.

Thanks Iain, yes I agree definitely. I don't like being like that. In an office I feel like a cornered animal and am constantly prepared to defend myself from people. I have kept a record of unpleasant interactions from colleagues, occasions where I have been mocked etc. And accused of doing things I haven’t done etc.

It can often be stress related as I had a busy day dealing with something and a manager got funny with me for asking a colleague for help when I was overwhelmed. I have had outbursts saying nasty things about him before and he has intimidated me in person before and made me feel uncomfortable. I have considered how I might deal with him if he did it again. I appreciate that others might say that's just his way and his sense of humour etc. To poke a bit of fun but I find it unpleasant. I hate the fact that in your personal life you can escape from and block toxic people normally and have that choice but at work you're forced to be contained in a room with them in order to get the money so you can have a roof over your head. I would never choose to associate with him in my personal life in a million years.

A few examples where I have reacted fiercely are:

My manager happened to walk past me as I accidentally opened a shortcut to a webpage on my desktop wondering what it was and told me off for surfing the Internet in work time yet someone they were friends with spent loads of time on the Internet and they said nothing

Another couple of times people asked me to deal with a situation that made me feel very uncomfortable. In one case someone who was standing around my desk casually pointed out my phone was ringing and I didn't want to answer it as other people could take the call but he was mocking that I didn't want to take the phone call.

Another time my manager just didn't get why I was really stressed and had an urgent situation and they were asking pointless and unhelpful questions.

Other times I had been accused of doing things or not doing things that I knew was incorrect so would stand up for myself and not be told otherwise.

I know other colleagues are favourites of the management and get special treatment and preference which I find annoying.

I just hate the whole work environment, I'm just so happy when at home on my own, watching TV and playing games but know I'm forced into this torture all the time to enjoy my personal life.