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Why couldn't I have just been made normal?

FUB39

Anybody else just really effing angry? Like, I never asked for this. I hate it. Autism and ADHD together? Oh, lucky me... not. 

I'm recently diagnosed and up until this point, I've spent years thinking I struggled with my mental health and that I could try therapies and medication to treat it and make myself better. To find out that the majority of this is actually Autism and ADHD and there's not a damn thing I can do to make them go away, is honestly just soul-destroying. I hate it. I hate what it's made me. It's the absolute worst thing aout me and it's ruining my life. 

Anybody else just wish they could have been made normal?

Parents

  • Hi - I totally get where you're coming from because this is exactly where I am right now.  I have not been diagnosed but I cannot really see how I could not be given that I have tried many questionnaires and other things and that I have a son who's autistic too.

    In one sense it *is* a relief that I understand finally. Putting a name on it does help... well, almost. 

    But on the other hand, it does not get me out of the hole I am in or help me understand enough to fix things.,  I am currently struggling to work out how I handle my limitations (alexithymia, monotropism, constant autistic withdrawal).  The fact is that I'm married have two (wonderful) kids and a wonderful wife but have inflicted untold pain and annoyance on them because of this, and it's really hurting me right now and despite the fact that I do have talents that have afforded us a manageable home life-style, it just doesn't make it up to them for the lack of the father/husband they really needed.

Reply

  • Hi - I totally get where you're coming from because this is exactly where I am right now.  I have not been diagnosed but I cannot really see how I could not be given that I have tried many questionnaires and other things and that I have a son who's autistic too.

    In one sense it *is* a relief that I understand finally. Putting a name on it does help... well, almost. 

    But on the other hand, it does not get me out of the hole I am in or help me understand enough to fix things.,  I am currently struggling to work out how I handle my limitations (alexithymia, monotropism, constant autistic withdrawal).  The fact is that I'm married have two (wonderful) kids and a wonderful wife but have inflicted untold pain and annoyance on them because of this, and it's really hurting me right now and despite the fact that I do have talents that have afforded us a manageable home life-style, it just doesn't make it up to them for the lack of the father/husband they really needed.

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