Why couldn't I have just been made normal?

Anybody else just really effing angry? Like, I never asked for this. I hate it. Autism and ADHD together? Oh, lucky me... not. 

I'm recently diagnosed and up until this point, I've spent years thinking I struggled with my mental health and that I could try therapies and medication to treat it and make myself better. To find out that the majority of this is actually Autism and ADHD and there's not a damn thing I can do to make them go away, is honestly just soul-destroying. I hate it. I hate what it's made me. It's the absolute worst thing aout me and it's ruining my life. 

Anybody else just wish they could have been made normal?

Parents
  • Hi - I’m sorry you’re feeling like this at the moment. It’s understandable and I think many people feel this frustration at times. I realise it might seem impossible at the moment but the thing to aim for is acceptance of your autistic and adhd traits and to hopefully reach a point where you can embrace who you are. Being autistic is an intrinsic part of your nature and if you hate it you are hating yourself - and that’s going to serve your interests or make you happy. I know everyone is different but for most of us being autistic does have some positive sides - you might have to look quite deeply to find them - but they will be there somewhere! You just have to find them, and value them, and value yourself as a person. 

    Your anger and frustration are normal responses to anything that we feel is making our life harder. Don’t try to suppress the anger (I get the feeling you’re not repressing it!) but also don’t ’feed’ the anger by keep ruminating on all the negatives. There ARE negatives for most of us, but accepting that they are there - and trying to mitigate them in positive ways - will make your life a little easier. 

    Re. being ‘made normal’ - ideas about normality are not overly helpful. The neighbour you perceive as ‘normal’ has probably got loads of weird problems that you don’t know about. I don’t think anybody is exactly ‘normal’ - we’re all just weird in different ways. Let go of your notions about ‘normal’ and ‘not normal’ - you’re just you and you need to embrace who you are. You need to forgive yourself for your struggles and be kinder to yourself. Please don’t hate yourself or your Austin adhd traits. There’s enough discrimination in this world without us discriminating against ourselves! 

  • I ment to say ‘NOT going to serve your interests or make you happy’! 

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