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Why couldn't I have just been made normal?

FUB39

Anybody else just really effing angry? Like, I never asked for this. I hate it. Autism and ADHD together? Oh, lucky me... not. 

I'm recently diagnosed and up until this point, I've spent years thinking I struggled with my mental health and that I could try therapies and medication to treat it and make myself better. To find out that the majority of this is actually Autism and ADHD and there's not a damn thing I can do to make them go away, is honestly just soul-destroying. I hate it. I hate what it's made me. It's the absolute worst thing aout me and it's ruining my life. 

Anybody else just wish they could have been made normal?

Parents
  • FUB39 said:
    Anybody else just wish they could have been made normal?

    I did go through a stage of this althought I didn't know most of my issues were caused by autism. It was a dark time but in the end I came to the realisation I may as well hate the sun for being bright, water for being wet or time for passing.

    Your ND issues are there and all you can do is work on making them less of a problem so that is what I did over the course of a decade or so. I learned meditation techniques to bring down my stress levels quickly when needed (the stress responses can actualy be very useful in some situations), I learned mindfulness to order my thoughts to shut down catastrophisng, I learned about social interactions and kept trying them until I could mask / script my way through any situation etc.

    Focus your anger into something productive like this is my advice. As for those who say "just accept it an embrace it" - well I think that is creating a prison for yourself to be an eternal victim.

    If is fair? No. Why should life be fair anyway? Do soliders who die on the battlefield see fair? Do children starving in 3rd world countries because of drought? Do people dying of cancer? Life and society is not fair so your best option is to redress that balance and make your life about improving your lot.

    I reached the point in my mid 50s where I could retire early, own my own home, hold down challenging jobs if I wanted or relax and do the thngs that make me happy all day. All through this process.

    In life you largely make your own luck and that can be hard but no less hard than wallowing in despair over something that you are capable of making a difference about (not this is not aimed directly at you).

    That is my approach and it has served me well. If anything helps you here then I wish you well with it.

Reply
  • FUB39 said:
    Anybody else just wish they could have been made normal?

    I did go through a stage of this althought I didn't know most of my issues were caused by autism. It was a dark time but in the end I came to the realisation I may as well hate the sun for being bright, water for being wet or time for passing.

    Your ND issues are there and all you can do is work on making them less of a problem so that is what I did over the course of a decade or so. I learned meditation techniques to bring down my stress levels quickly when needed (the stress responses can actualy be very useful in some situations), I learned mindfulness to order my thoughts to shut down catastrophisng, I learned about social interactions and kept trying them until I could mask / script my way through any situation etc.

    Focus your anger into something productive like this is my advice. As for those who say "just accept it an embrace it" - well I think that is creating a prison for yourself to be an eternal victim.

    If is fair? No. Why should life be fair anyway? Do soliders who die on the battlefield see fair? Do children starving in 3rd world countries because of drought? Do people dying of cancer? Life and society is not fair so your best option is to redress that balance and make your life about improving your lot.

    I reached the point in my mid 50s where I could retire early, own my own home, hold down challenging jobs if I wanted or relax and do the thngs that make me happy all day. All through this process.

    In life you largely make your own luck and that can be hard but no less hard than wallowing in despair over something that you are capable of making a difference about (not this is not aimed directly at you).

    That is my approach and it has served me well. If anything helps you here then I wish you well with it.

Children
  • in reply to Iain
    Iain said:
    As for those who say "just accept it an embrace it" - well I think that is creating a prison for yourself to be an eternal victim

    The implication of "just accept it an[d] embrace it" is not that a people should simply surrender themselves to their dismal fate, but should work with what they've got, as you have.