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I don't want to live anymore

hypercolius

My girlfriend, my best friend, my everything, angrily broke up with me last night. Spent half of the night on a suicide prevention helpline and this whole morning crying my eyes out. 

We were just texting and laughing when she suddenly began making demands. This was two days after she, to my face, made a lot of promises to me. These demands escalated to 'If you want to even stay friends, don't message me until December' and she never answered why or repeated attempts at clarification. 

When I pointed out she made promises, she got extremely angry and said 'If you feel we need to have a call to resolve this, this is over'

After she made the December demand, I stated that this won't work for me. I set my own boundaries: keep her promises. She then angrily broke it off. 

It just proves to me that I'm a horrible, horrible person who will never be in a relationship and who will keep getting rejected for the rest of his life. I wish I had a terminal illness instead of autism and ADHD. I just want to close my eyes and just never wake up again. 

Parents

  • Dear hypercolius,  

    Thank you for posting and telling the community what you are going through. We are sorry to hear that you are currently experiencing a tough time. It is good that you’ve let us know how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay.     

     

    If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support. 

     

    The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. We advise you to contact 999 or any of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page if you are at risk of immediate harm: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help  

     

    If you are not at immediate risk of harm, we would encourage you to speak to your GP or another health professional about this if you haven’t done so already. If it’s outside your GP hours call 111 to reach the NHS 111 service. In England, Wales and Scotland there is now an option to speak with mental health professionals by selecting ‘option 2’ when calling NHS 111: https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/    

     

    You may also find the following useful:  

    • Samaritans: Call 116 123 for free, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  
    • SANEline: 0300 304 7000 for anyone experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else (4.30pm to 10.30pm, every day)  
    • Shout 85258: a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone struggling to cope.  

     

    We hope this is helpful to you.  

    Kind regards 

    Katrina Mod

Reply

  • Dear hypercolius,  

    Thank you for posting and telling the community what you are going through. We are sorry to hear that you are currently experiencing a tough time. It is good that you’ve let us know how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay.     

     

    If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support. 

     

    The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. We advise you to contact 999 or any of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page if you are at risk of immediate harm: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help  

     

    If you are not at immediate risk of harm, we would encourage you to speak to your GP or another health professional about this if you haven’t done so already. If it’s outside your GP hours call 111 to reach the NHS 111 service. In England, Wales and Scotland there is now an option to speak with mental health professionals by selecting ‘option 2’ when calling NHS 111: https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/    

     

    You may also find the following useful:  

    • Samaritans: Call 116 123 for free, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  
    • SANEline: 0300 304 7000 for anyone experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else (4.30pm to 10.30pm, every day)  
    • Shout 85258: a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone struggling to cope.  

     

    We hope this is helpful to you.  

    Kind regards 

    Katrina Mod

Children