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Manipulation

Elfilis

Ive been bullied since I was a toddler and as time has gone on I seem to have got worse with my mental health, confidence, self worth etc so I was in a bad state when I left school. Unfortunately since then I have been manipulated by “family members” and a “shop manager”. I don’t keep in touch with them anymore (thank God) but what they have said and done is still in my head and I can’t help but question myself, fall into a vicious circle of negativity and then it affects how I even take care of myself and is it even worth it. 

Some examples are what I’d be told was:

If you’re happy then you’re weak

If you don’t think someone is nice looking, you actually do think they’re nice looking but you’re too jealous/envious and stubborn to admit 

If you look after and care for yourself, you are masking and denying who you really are 

If you’re doing something that you think makes you happy, then you’re actually not happy and your mind is tricking you 

You think you are ok with the life you have but really you’re not happy because other people have easier and more luxurious lives and therefore you are deep down jealous/envious

Your parents only love you because they have to, not because they want to

Your parents have moments of madness when they say nice things and get you nice things

I could list so many things but I basically had all these things rammed in my brain and down my throat so much that now it’s all I think about and I question myself and what I like etc. I thought I enjoyed my games but do I? Am I really jealous of others? I’ve been told that these bullies are just dumping their thoughts and feelings on me and therefore what they said isn’t true about me but about them and their in denial but then I get this voice telling me that these people who are defending and trying to help me are just saying that but done mean it. It has also affected my relationship with my parents over the years and I’m still questioning do they love me and even like me? Kinda like the Simpsons episode “Bartless”. 

I am on the waitlist for therapy with the NHS but I don’t know how long that will be so I was wondering if anyone has any advice or can relate somehow in anyway? Any advice will be greatly appreciated! Thank you x 

Parents

  • Unfortunately, people with autism are far more easily manipulated. I find it really hard to trust people and I never know whether they're being genuine or whether I'm being manipulated.

    I also don't think some people can understand the point to which many of us were bullied. I've often felt it was disregarded as ye most kids get bullied at some point. Mine wasn't at some point and it wasn't a little bit. It was relentless and has had a massive impact on my life. It is very difficult to see the worth of yourself when the messages you've been given most of your life are negative. I wish I could give you some good advice to deal with these feelings but it is something I really struggle with myself.

    I hope when you get your therapy it is of some help to you.

Reply

  • Unfortunately, people with autism are far more easily manipulated. I find it really hard to trust people and I never know whether they're being genuine or whether I'm being manipulated.

    I also don't think some people can understand the point to which many of us were bullied. I've often felt it was disregarded as ye most kids get bullied at some point. Mine wasn't at some point and it wasn't a little bit. It was relentless and has had a massive impact on my life. It is very difficult to see the worth of yourself when the messages you've been given most of your life are negative. I wish I could give you some good advice to deal with these feelings but it is something I really struggle with myself.

    I hope when you get your therapy it is of some help to you.

Children
  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum

    Aww I’m sorry to hear you have struggled with bullying for such a long time too. I wonder do these manipulators know who are autistic? Do they know that we are somehow more vulnerable in anyway? Do we come across as timid despite efforts not to? Like how do they know? Or do they do it with many people and likes of us are more likely to get wounded by it worse than others? Thank you for replying anyway Slight smile