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What's your PDA?

Damojo

How does your persistent drive for autonomy (PDA) manifest itself? (Or pathological demand avoidance, as the medics call it.)

I suspect I might have a bit of it, but I'm not sure. I seem to have (and always had) an instinctive resistance to social pressure, rather than a desire not to do what someone asks:

  • I hate whatever is "fashionable". I will go out of my way to be unfashionable. Including, but not limited to:
    • Manufactured pop music (cause of my most recent meltdown)
    • Clothing trends (jeans and a T-shirt have done me since the 80s)
    • Reality TV shows (unless narrated by David Attenborough)
    • Anything made by Apple
    • New/wrong words or phrases (like "irregardless" or "going forward")
  • I refuse to do things "just because". There has to be a reason. I won't ...
    • Panic buy toilet roll when there's a pandemic
    • Eat at McDonald's (it's garbage)
    • Admire royalty
    • Wear fancy dress
    • Do the ice bucket challenge
    • (I make an exception for red wine; it is its own reason)
  • I hate whatever is heavily advertised. Sure, it might not be a bad product, but I'm not paying extra to fund being advertised at really irritatingly. If they persist, I'll make point of never buying their product—ever:
    • Gillette razors
    • Any major brand of washing powder and, even more-so, those capsules kids love to eat
    • Anything that solves a non-existent problem (bottled water, "detox" anything)
    • Kellogg's anything
    • Insurance comparison sites
    • Every single online gambling site (don't get me started on that one)

Anyone got anything like that? Is that even PDA or am I just a cranky old fart?

Parents

  • I share your aversion to most of the things on your list, including to advertised products, but that is because I do my research when making purchases I need, and I don’t need most of the things advertised. Also, I am not drawn in by the advertisements and their claims which can be misleading and are sometimes bordering on the edge of fantasy.

    I don’t follow the latest trends in anything and I don’t eat fast food from takeaways. I don’t know the names of many film and TV stars or any of the names of songs by Beyoncé or Taylor Swift. In fact, I don’t know what Beyoncé looks like and I have only recently learned to identify Taylor Swift in a photograph. 

    I do have all Apple products because they are meant to be more secure from hackers, they are straightforward to use, and banking, photos and documents work seamlessly across devices. I hate trailing wires or technology to look a mess with bits and pieces all over the place, so my iMac doesn’t glare back at me in that respect. 

    Damojo said:
    suspect I might have a bit of it

    I believe that researchers are not able to come up with a universally accepted definition of PDA. I haven’t trawled round all the information out there on PDA, so I can’t comment on your experience. I haven’t PDA and I believe my preferences are because I am autistic and have restricted and intense interests elsewhere.

Reply

  • I share your aversion to most of the things on your list, including to advertised products, but that is because I do my research when making purchases I need, and I don’t need most of the things advertised. Also, I am not drawn in by the advertisements and their claims which can be misleading and are sometimes bordering on the edge of fantasy.

    I don’t follow the latest trends in anything and I don’t eat fast food from takeaways. I don’t know the names of many film and TV stars or any of the names of songs by Beyoncé or Taylor Swift. In fact, I don’t know what Beyoncé looks like and I have only recently learned to identify Taylor Swift in a photograph. 

    I do have all Apple products because they are meant to be more secure from hackers, they are straightforward to use, and banking, photos and documents work seamlessly across devices. I hate trailing wires or technology to look a mess with bits and pieces all over the place, so my iMac doesn’t glare back at me in that respect. 

    Damojo said:
    suspect I might have a bit of it

    I believe that researchers are not able to come up with a universally accepted definition of PDA. I haven’t trawled round all the information out there on PDA, so I can’t comment on your experience. I haven’t PDA and I believe my preferences are because I am autistic and have restricted and intense interests elsewhere.

Children
  • in reply to ArchaeC
    ArchaeC said:
    I don’t know the names of many film and TV stars or any of the names of songs by Beyoncé or Taylor Swift.

    I don't listen to Taylor Swift. I can't listen to Taylor Swift. No offence to anyone, but her music is one of my stress triggers (along with about half of all pop music). To each their own, though. It's great that lots of people here enjoy her music and she gives them a bit of Autistic joy.

    It is probably my imagination, but I get a sense that Taylor Swift is to autistic people what Judy Garland is to gay men: an icon. Of course, as soon as there is even a hint that I might be expected to like her because of that, I start to feel my heels digging in. Then, the next time I hear her, I'll start getting even more stressed than usual.

    Not to worry, though. RFK Jr. will have the cure for us all next month, so we won't have to fret about pop music tastes for much longer. Wink

  • in reply to ArchaeC

    I mean I’d probably struggle to recognise Billie Elsie unless she had the famous hair colours she’s had but I can recognise Beyoncé and Tay anywhere even like old pics of them from bedroom I knew who they were from