I've been having a bad day mentally as I've had so many things dumped on me all at once and I don't know what to do. Here's a small layout of what's been on my mind:-
I've just been to the Dentist recently and I've hated going to the dentist for years since due to an incident that happened many years ago. Anyways, I was already scared enough, I even ended up having a panic attack while in there, it was absolutely mortifying. Luckily the dentist who saw me seemed to be understanding... but unfortunately what I feared would happen is now happening. I've been that I now have to get a filling done and it needs to happen or risk of infection. But here's the problem... I have a crippling Phobia of Needles and that's part of the procedure. I'm actually shaking just thinking about it 
If that's not made me anxious and stressed enough, a couple of days ago my mum comes to me to let me know about a job vacancy that she found which she said was perfect for me and that I should apply. Now she's wasn't wrong as it does sound like the perfect job in regards to my previous experience and skill set... it's just that there's one thing that has me in knots. In a previous post, I mentioned how I due to past terrible experiences I've had with job interviews, I have now developed a trauma and fear of job interviews all together. That’s the only thing I have an issue about this topic. Even though I've discussed it with my job coach who is understanding about it, I'm still extremely anxious about Even sending in an email over it. And I'm not exaggerating, the fear is so bad that I've been having stress induced nightmares about... I'm actually hyperventilating just thinking about it 
So these things have been plaguing my mind today and honestly it's put me in not a good place mentally. I've been trying to get my off it by watching and listening to my favourite funny stuff which is only half working. But it doesn't change the fact that i need to get these two things done. I've been masking in front of parents, just trying to carry on like everything's okay but honestly... having these two things on my mind is making me feel ill.
Sorry if I've went on and on, it's just I felt like I needed to get this off my chest as I don't feel like i can talk to my parents about it. While they know about my needle Phobia and are trying to help me as much they can with that... in regards to my Phobia of the possibility of job interview, I don’t think they would understand as they're attitude towards stuff like that is all 'ACT CONFIDENT, THINK POSITIVE, JUST GET ON WITH IT'... which is easier said than done.
it's okay if there's no advice as I was just wanting to vent out my feelings somewhere in the hopes that maybe it might make me feel a little better getting it all out
Anyways, thank you for listening
