Given up

I make my own I can't eat the ones from a store even tho I woke in one who sells them, plus um such a fussy eater 

Moods change, so you hang on for another day and see how you feel.

I was feeling especially low a few weeks ago, so for the first time in 47 years I went and sat in the church for a few hours. I've not really thought about it since I nearly died when I was 10. I assume I was spared for a reason so I went to ask why. I felt quite emotional, there was no-one else there so it didn't matter, after 2.5 hrs I felt calmer. I took the day off on my birthday a few days later and went and sat there some more.

I am not saying church is the answer, but somewhere cool, quiet and peaceful helps to make you calm. Try to think of good things you have done. There must be some. Could you do some again. Are there more things you would still like to do. Is there some way to do some. Is there someone you could help, so you have some meaning.

Is there someone you can talk to to get some perspective. It is easy to spiral down and talk yourself down. You have to look at good bits.

Also all the other people who look to be doing well often have their own problems, it is all a front. They have ill parents, or children, or have debts, marriage issues, worries about jobs, family problems, hidden secrets, and their own worries.

What it means is this ideal world we want, and the media and internet push,bis not real. Everyone makes the best of what the have, smiles and tries to look for the good bits. Or they just have a bottle wine and it goes away for a while.

I think we have issues with emotions and feelings. It does not change anything, but it means it will get better if you hang on.

You have to have down days to appreciate the good days.

If I am in a city centre I will often buy myself a chicken salad sandwich from Sainsbury's (because they are near my bus stop and I like their sandwich).

Did you make yours or buy it?

Always think i am thats why I tend to apologise alot, an think when I talk its nonsense.

Well I have the best lunch a chicken sandwich cause im in work.. no idea what I'll have later when im home tho

Not a problem - because you are not being a problem - so no need to be sorry.

Start small.

What are you going to have for lunch today? 

(It takes me a while to get organised for lunch ...I can't be the only one who finds that!).

My GP an 111 dont listen ive tried to much an think ive overstepped alot.. but thanks for ur reply an I am truly sorry if I get to much on here its just I dont have anyone else really an when u feel so low um just scared.

You pause, you take a long breath, you look outside the window and try and notice the natural world going about its business, you continue to reach out for help via different routes, you try to judge yourself less harshly (talk to yourself as you would to a friend), you eat a snack, you drink some water.

If you are getting worried about needing more help - you read through and bookmark the NAS urgent help page (and have a think whether one of those organisations might be a good place to contact too):

https://www.autism.org.uk/contact-us/urgent-help

Our support community is still here - but sometimes reaching out to 111 or your GP is a sensible next step.  Keep communication open with people in the real world too.