• Replies 20 replies
  • Subscribers 13 subscribers
  • Views 729 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Overwhelmed and behaving aggressive

Alien0n3arth

This is what I hear for quite some time from my husband,  but recently got even worse.  I hear that I'm being argumentative, sometimes aggressive,  gruff etc. And I get questions,  why I'm angry. I ask myself for years, why I'm angry when I hear it from others. Or why I'm moody,when I hear it. Only relatively recently I understood,  that what I feel is not always what others perceive.  So it led me to a discovery,  that this bad behaviour is my reaction to overwhelm and stress. We have one child toddler. I can't really connect and play good with the little one. She often must repeat few times before I process what she says and respond. After 15 minutes spent with them I'm exhausted and totally overwhelmed.  In more extreme cases I feel my brain shaking and I bang my head off of a wall to calm down. Recently I had few days headache and nausea because of that, my husband wanted to call ambulance. I feel like a very bad parent and also bad wife and I'm afraid of losing my family.  I take care of them in terms of cooking, cleaning, helping, providing as much as I can but spending time with them is often a torture for me. After 15 minutes with them I need 30 minutes of pacing my kitchen and my long loop thoughts about alien encounters etc. I shouldn't have become mother, but I didn't know about it before it happened.  I love my family, I don't want to lose them. 

There are not many options available for me such as therapies. I don't know how to control my reactions, in order to not appear angry or crazy to my loved ones. 

Parents

  • Are you angry and aggressive or is this the perception of others? Are you being expected to smile and be "nice" all the time?

    I think the first thing to get you're head around, is that there's no such thing as the perfect parent, I'm sure rationally you know that, but do you feel it, are you allowed to feel it? Being a good enough parent is all that can be asked of anybody.

    A young family is stressull, incredibly so, I used to long to be able to go to the toilet in peace and know that the "quiet" wasn't them doing something naughty whilst I was otherwise occupied. What was worse, was that my partner seemed to think being at home with 2 underfives was easy.

    Is it possible you're suffering from post natal depression? It often dosen't set in for some months after the baby's been born, people think it does but not always, this could be worth checking out, the right support could make all the difference and stop you banging your head against the wall. Post natal depression isn't failure, nobodies going to take your children away or kick you out of your house, it's a chemical imbalance and medication can help rectify it.

Reply

  • Are you angry and aggressive or is this the perception of others? Are you being expected to smile and be "nice" all the time?

    I think the first thing to get you're head around, is that there's no such thing as the perfect parent, I'm sure rationally you know that, but do you feel it, are you allowed to feel it? Being a good enough parent is all that can be asked of anybody.

    A young family is stressull, incredibly so, I used to long to be able to go to the toilet in peace and know that the "quiet" wasn't them doing something naughty whilst I was otherwise occupied. What was worse, was that my partner seemed to think being at home with 2 underfives was easy.

    Is it possible you're suffering from post natal depression? It often dosen't set in for some months after the baby's been born, people think it does but not always, this could be worth checking out, the right support could make all the difference and stop you banging your head against the wall. Post natal depression isn't failure, nobodies going to take your children away or kick you out of your house, it's a chemical imbalance and medication can help rectify it.

Children
  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I'm not angry, it's other's perception of me. I also often get perceived as moody, when I'm absolutely not. Sometimes I hear from my husband that I'm argumentative,  when it's not my intention to argue with him. I just state, some other solution is better for particular situation.

    I'm overwhelmed by too much going on. I used to have similar stress before pregnancy too. Now it's harder because it's with the child - 24/7 job. I was diagnosed and medicated for depression and its always same, so I don't get any hope. I used to have post natal depression but I got meds around 3 years ago and it got better.