Therapy failing

So I have now got official diagnoses of autism, CPTSD and EUPD. Been so badly bullied growing up and got harassed in the workplace so now my mental health is just too weak for everyday life. I’ve tried all sorts of private therapies but everyone has said they just can’t help me and drop me like a ton of bricks. I am aware autism is a different way of thinking but is autism the reason why I won’t recover and therapy isn’t working for me? NHS services only seem to be for short term care so that’s probably out the option too. I keep getting these “voices” in my head nagging me to punish myself and I’m not worthy due to what others have said and all I get told is to ignore the voices etc which is easier said than done for me personally. I am also unable to move on from all the trauma and bullying etc and everything is just racing a billion to the dozen and I can’t seem to move on. Am I doing something wrong? Does anyone have any advice or have been in my position at all?

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  • is autism the reason why I won’t recover and therapy isn’t working for me?

    I would suspect that you just haven't found a therapist who is knowledgable in autism and who can deal with your type of personality (some of us are hard work).

    I don't think the NHS has been effective with its autism training for the staff working for it and have been focussing on more common issues instead so private therapy (at around £50/hour) is the most likely to get results in my opinion.

    I keep getting these “voices” in my head nagging me to punish myself

    I'm not a medical expert but this sounds much more like bipolar disorder (BPD) than autism. 

    There is an article on it here:

    https://neurodivergentinsights.com/bipolar-and-autism/

    Hallucinations (including auditory) are associated with mania in BPD

    I cannot offer medical advice other than to suggest you ask your GP for you to be assessed for BPD.

    With the complete diagnoses of all your neurodivergent disorders then you should be able to persuade the GP to get you a more specialised therapist I would hope.

    Good luck

  • Thank you for that chart, I can definitely relate to the majority of what is written there. I have actually never considered bipolar disorder if I’m honest. I believe it is actually similar to EUPD which is what I now have but I think bipolar involves more just waking up with either mania or depression where as EUPD is caused by triggers. I might ask my GP when I next see him if I can have a bipolar assessment though as it’s best to be safe than sorry. I don’t really know how the NHS work so I don’t know if bipolar would come under general assessments or its own one. 

    As for therapy, I used to be with CAMHS but that was because my parents had been good enough to pay private for my therapy and the psychologist I saw was able to get me with her at CAMHS but I had to leave when I turned 18 and there was no point in going private again as we were moving out of area. I had some regular talking therapists but I didn’t gel with them and same with the hypnotherapy. I did have a CBT counsellor but one day she just said she couldn’t help me anymore. Private therapists have been from £40-£100 per hour and money is a bit of a struggle especially now I have my own place. I would mention that DBT had cost me £900 a month. Think I’d rather had a couple of nights as The Shard hotel haha. 

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  • Thank you for that chart, I can definitely relate to the majority of what is written there. I have actually never considered bipolar disorder if I’m honest. I believe it is actually similar to EUPD which is what I now have but I think bipolar involves more just waking up with either mania or depression where as EUPD is caused by triggers. I might ask my GP when I next see him if I can have a bipolar assessment though as it’s best to be safe than sorry. I don’t really know how the NHS work so I don’t know if bipolar would come under general assessments or its own one. 

    As for therapy, I used to be with CAMHS but that was because my parents had been good enough to pay private for my therapy and the psychologist I saw was able to get me with her at CAMHS but I had to leave when I turned 18 and there was no point in going private again as we were moving out of area. I had some regular talking therapists but I didn’t gel with them and same with the hypnotherapy. I did have a CBT counsellor but one day she just said she couldn’t help me anymore. Private therapists have been from £40-£100 per hour and money is a bit of a struggle especially now I have my own place. I would mention that DBT had cost me £900 a month. Think I’d rather had a couple of nights as The Shard hotel haha. 

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