• Replies 22 replies
  • Subscribers 8 subscribers
  • Views 757 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

PDA, or Sticking to principles

TheCatWoman

I don't have PDA, although some people might of thought so at times, if one has principles and another wants you to go against them and you refuse, what then are you principaled or do you have PDA?

PDA is one of those terms I have problems with, I get that at it's severest it's diabeling, but it's a term I also hear being used about people and particularly children who are just being children. All children have to test the boundaries, especially when the first learn what a powerful word NO is, is a child who's refusing to wear socks for example exercising the word NO or do they have PDA? Refusing to do something and having a screaming fit when made to do it is a pretty normal part of growing up, as is misbehaving in teenage years, labelling someone as having PDA could mean that they're not being listened to or heard when something really is wrong. I was a school refuser, I just wouldn't go, I hated it and always did, I bunked for a couple of years at secondary school, they just couldn't get me stay in the building.

I was reading something a while ago about army prisons, when you get a sentence and a dishonourable discharge as part of it, you still have to do army things, like all the physical exercises and stuff, why do people not just say no? If they're going throw me out anyway why should I have to get up at dawn and do a run? I know my reply would have lots of FF's in it and I would not comply, what could they do to me beyond imprisoning me and giving me a discharge? Would that be PDA or the actions of someone thoroughly fed up?

Parents

  • PDA is anxiety based from what I know, expectations even ones you have for yourself can be overwhelming and cause severe anxiety and panic. I suppose like ASD there are levels of it perhaps? Some cases more extreme than others. Other neurodivergent conditions like ADHD added to the mix would be like a bomb going off in your head I would imagine.

  • in reply to Autismman

    Sticking to principles can be nerve wracking and anxiety producing, especially when others around you disagree equally as strongly.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman
    TheCatWoman said:
    Sticking to principles can be nerve wracking and anxiety producing, especially when others around you disagree equally as strongly.

    How do you cope when the principles you are fighting so had to maintain turn out to be unsuitable for the situation?

    For example, a slightly extreme example, if you were a traffic warden and saw a van parked on double yellow lines and decided to clamp the wheel - would you do this if it was an ambulance picking up someone involved in a road accident?

    Rules are rules - clamp the ambulance and it is their fault for parking on a double yellow. Reality says it should be an exception as the life is more important than the parking rule. Which one wins?

    Life is much more nuanced so is it really worth sticking so hard to the rules without taking time to consider all the angles? 

    I think it took me to my 30s to get over the rigidity of following principles blindly.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman
    TheCatWoman said:
    I find difficult about many ND people is the black and white thinking,

    This is one of my biggest failings. I didn't know about it till I saw something on cognitive distortions a few months ago. It can be an attribute in some work settings, such a regulatory, standards and protocol areas where there can only be one right answer, but is not so helpful in life.

    youtu.be/GSRurCJYvAI

Reply Children
No Data