Autism or cPTSD? Which?

I have a suspicion I have complex PTSD, but I don't really know if some of my traits are just plain old Autistic traits and not cPTSD at all. How would I know the difference?

For example, I feel extremely aware of people in the space around me (in public or private). I am constantly trying to predict how they will move or act or interact and trying to plan how I will deal with all possibilities, particularly if they might do something irritating, or something against the "rules". A lot of the time, I feel threatened (anxious rather than terrified) and under siege (from the relentlessness of it all), particularly if I have no easy means of escape (perhaps I'm masking and trying to stick it out to appear "normal"). It is exhausting and really stressful. Is that Autistic hyperawareness, or cPTSD hypervigilance, or just overthinking, or something else entirely?

Does anyone else have similar experiences and do you know how they might relate to Autism vs. cPTSD?

Parents
  • I am beginning to wonder something similar, perhaps due to my feelings of imposter syndrome around being on the spectrum. Last time I was going through a burnout/breakdown I couldn’t have people too close to me, even walking in the street was a nightmare, why would someone choose to sit next to me when plenty of other chairs are available was another thought I had. It felt they were invading my space and I quickly had to move out of their way, this got better with increased hours of sleep and withdrawal from the expectations of the world. I don’t particularly like strangers sitting next to me on the bus or anywhere really, I feel they are way too close so I tend to avoid public transport. I suppose it’s down to us to venture into the deep parts of our workings and figure out just exactly what it is that’s making us uncomfortable, is it a perceived lack of control over our autonomy? Are we trying to predict the future to avoid an overload of more raw emotions and trauma because we are already juggling the load we have?

Reply
  • I am beginning to wonder something similar, perhaps due to my feelings of imposter syndrome around being on the spectrum. Last time I was going through a burnout/breakdown I couldn’t have people too close to me, even walking in the street was a nightmare, why would someone choose to sit next to me when plenty of other chairs are available was another thought I had. It felt they were invading my space and I quickly had to move out of their way, this got better with increased hours of sleep and withdrawal from the expectations of the world. I don’t particularly like strangers sitting next to me on the bus or anywhere really, I feel they are way too close so I tend to avoid public transport. I suppose it’s down to us to venture into the deep parts of our workings and figure out just exactly what it is that’s making us uncomfortable, is it a perceived lack of control over our autonomy? Are we trying to predict the future to avoid an overload of more raw emotions and trauma because we are already juggling the load we have?

Children
  • Are we trying to predict the future to avoid an overload of more raw emotions and trauma because we are already juggling the load we have?

    Yes, I think that is a large part of what is going on in my head. I need to "figure this out" and "get this right" or "these bad things will happen ... again."

  • I don’t particularly like strangers sitting next to me on the bus or anywhere really, I feel they are way too close

    On a bus, I don't feel too bad. It's very much expected that I'll be sitting beside a stranger, so I suppose I'm ready for it—it's factored into my prediction. If they start talking to me (which is rare), I'll get a bit stressed, though. However, if it's somewhere like a waiting room and there are lots of chairs, then it makes me really uncomfortable if someone sits near me when they could have sat somewhere else. Part of that is probably hypervigilance and defensiveness and part might be a bit of germophobia, particularly if the waiting room is at a GP—again, all part of me trying to continuously and very consciously make predictions about what might or might not happen. It's all pretty exhausting.