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Getting used to a dog

pdaddio83

I have been struggling this past week because we have a new dog in the family. The reason I feel so stressed out and on edge all the time now is because I never actually wanted a dog, ever. My family have been pestering me for years, particularly my ASC daughter. However, I never grew up with dogs and am actually kind of freaked out by them, I never know what to expect from them. After a lot of talking over with my wife (who loves dogs, she's the other main voice on that side), I finally relented and we picked him up from the shelter last weekend.

I've now gone through a whole range of mixed emotions, from thinking this might be ok when he's calm, to thinking my life/marriage is over because I can't cope. I even had a meltdown on the 3rd day because the dog "bit" me (not actually, but exploring with his mouth while I was trying to stroke him), I couldn't take the uncertainty anymore. 

At this point I can start to see patterns now and understand the dog a bit better. But I know this isn't good enough, I do need to take joint responsibility too . I'm still scared to go near him when he's all jumpy and overexcited, and I don't want to live in fear in my own home. Currently there are times I have to force myself to be nice to him, it just does not feel natural to me.

Has anyone else ever had to go through something like this? I think things might be normalising slowly, but I need to imagine that my life will get better when I've had absolutely no previous experience of this.

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  • pdaddio83 said:
    I'm still scared to go near him when he's all jumpy and overexcited, and I don't want to live in fear in my own home.

    Dogs will instinctively pick up on your emotions and react to them, but not always in the way we may want.

    IF you are giving of a fear response then the dog will treat you as a lesser pack member and try to assert dominance over you. This is how the pecking order is established in their world so it will help a lot if you can get over this.

    The others are right about getting the dog trained, but I think you will need to be trained as well. For effective ownership of a dog you need to be consistent, exhibit alpha energy and behaviour (in order to be seen as an authority figure) and read up on dog psychology as they are remarkably straightforward creatures to train and manage when you know how.

    If you are the cause of the dog being given away then the kids will probably resent you for it - it is worth making every effort to adapt and learn how to manage the dog and pass these skills onto the kids as well. There are valuable life lessons in this for them.

    It is worth the effort in the end - dogs can be a great addition to the family.

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  • pdaddio83 said:
    I'm still scared to go near him when he's all jumpy and overexcited, and I don't want to live in fear in my own home.

    Dogs will instinctively pick up on your emotions and react to them, but not always in the way we may want.

    IF you are giving of a fear response then the dog will treat you as a lesser pack member and try to assert dominance over you. This is how the pecking order is established in their world so it will help a lot if you can get over this.

    The others are right about getting the dog trained, but I think you will need to be trained as well. For effective ownership of a dog you need to be consistent, exhibit alpha energy and behaviour (in order to be seen as an authority figure) and read up on dog psychology as they are remarkably straightforward creatures to train and manage when you know how.

    If you are the cause of the dog being given away then the kids will probably resent you for it - it is worth making every effort to adapt and learn how to manage the dog and pass these skills onto the kids as well. There are valuable life lessons in this for them.

    It is worth the effort in the end - dogs can be a great addition to the family.

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