Struggle functioning when stressed

Hi, I'm new here. I was diagnosed with ASD when I was 6 but haven't really ever understood it as no one has really told me about it. I had some support as a child but now I'm an adult I feel like I'm all alone with it. 

I noticed when I'm stressed I struggle to function. Some days if I'm stressed I forget to eat and drink, I can't go out and I'm too anxious and overwhelmed to answer the phone. Though I never like to answer the phone anyway.

How do you cope with every day life and keep functioning? I'm nearly 30 and the more time goes by the more it feels like I'm failing to cope with the hassles of every day life. 

I don't know what to do to help myself. I'm really at a loss on what to do next.

  • When I have tons of stress all I do is be in bed, is like my nervous system is saying stop very loud. I bought myself an infrared mat from medicrystal, it helps me. I also have a rife machine and can send myself frequencies to balance the areas I need. My energy field gets distorted so being in nature helps me. Breathing and qigong practices help also, but what really helped me a lot is being in a sort of isolated place surrounded by nature and with very little cars. I felt like I was the only one on Earth and never felt more peaceful. The place is in Moneweden, Suffolk and need to find a similar place to live, that is what really helps me. 

  • This will maybe sound like old hippy advice but....  When i am a loss about what to do next I focus on what I am doing now and then kind of bend it to what I know I have to do  - if it's that sort of situation.  Sometimes in order to do that I need to trick myself to being more "grounded" in the present.  (there's exercises out there worth exploring.  Same thing goes for stuff that I'm doing more for the fun of it (must admit there is an art in learning how to do that too).  Either situation it's not what is done but how that counts most.  That varies from person to person and situation to situation - I think you are asking the right questiion    :-)  

  • Hi and welcome to the community.

    Sorry to hear that you feel alone and I hope that being part of this community will help with that. Most autistic people struggle to function when stressed/anxious so you're not alone there. Bunny has given you some good advice and links which hopefully will help.

    I tend to manage things by working to schedules and planning ahead. For example, I always eat at the same time every day - if you lose track of time when stressed, you could try setting alarms to remind you to eat and drink. (It's very important to keep hydrated, particularly in the warm weather we're having) I make a weekly meal plan and get groceries delivered each week so I know I have enough food in for all my meals and snacks until the next delivery.

    I also don't like talking on the phone, so I understand how that causes anxiety. You could ask people to contact you by email or text, and if you're having an anxious day you could mute your phone and if you see a missed call from someone important you could then text them, say you are sorry but you are a bit busy and ask if its urgent or can wait until another day.

    If you have any more questions or want to discuss anything, don't hesitate to post your question or thoughts.

  • Ooh thanks! I appreciate the recommendations. I've got two books on autism so far, Unmasking Autism by Devon Price and Fern Brady's autobiography.

    Both I find helpful books. 

    I'll check your recommendations out. Thanks again Pray 

  • You're most welcome! Blush

    Immediately following my own diagnosis, this other book of hers also taught me some important principles and enabled me to make some helpful changes:

    Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

  • Hi Bunny

    Thanks so much for all your help here. Dr Megan Neff is an amazing person, I find her so inspiring I've seen some of her interviews and chats on YT. Seriously recommend if you haven't seen any before.

    Thanks for all the links I'm sure they'll all be really helpful to me. I really appreciate your help here. 

    Slight smile

  • Hi and welcome to the community.

    I suggest seeking support from your GP (who might be able to help by offering medication and/or therapy, for example).

    You might also find these NAS resources helpful, including the strategies suggested in the first one:

    NAS - Autistic fatigue and burnout

    NAS - Formal support following an autism diagnosis - because it's never too late to seek this :) 

    NAS - Anxiety

    There's also some great (free) advice here from Dr Megan Neff - a neurodivergent author (who's also a clinician and advocate):

    Autistic Burnout Recovery: How to Build a Recovery Plan

    I've also just bought this new book of hers. It covers the subject in much greater detail, whilst remaining very user-friendly (including lots of diagrams and worksheets, for example):

    The Autistic Burnout Workbook: Your Guide to Your Personal Recovery Plan