Useless Human

I don't think I did figure it out, I did exactly the same as I did last time, this time it just accepted it. I don't feel I have any power or control with computers, to me it seems more like they have Artificual Spite than Intelligence.

I want to say well done but I don't want to appear condescending, I didn't doubt you would be able to figure it out.

Well I managed to change energy companies, I think and hope, I will probably know in a few days.

I think its more remarkable for me when it does work than when it dosen't

Instead of using scraps of paper, have a little book. Then all the info is in one place.

While it is always possible to have problems, be careful not to only focus on the times it didn't work, forgetting all the times it did work.

Oh great, just another effing opportuninty for growth!

I think a birthday present 5 years late isn't the right thing and the person I'm buying for may well be dead in 5 years, although I suppose that would solve the problem.

I have so many bits of paper with instructions on I lose them, I still don't learn, everytime I try and do C&P it's like the first time, going line by line through the instructions, double checking and I still lose stuff. I know I've done it before, but the memory of how is inaccessable. I've had people sit with me and go through stuff with me and it still goes wrong, like when I caused the entire colleges ability to print documents to fail, I hit print, there was some whirring and then nothing, it took the tech team ages to fix it. There's a whole massive list of things I've crashed, then theres the things I'm unable to work out. A friend got a new mouse and said I could use it if I could work out how, she refused to show me as she thought I was to dependent on being shown how to do things, others picked it up and it worked straight away from them, but not me. People laughed and were confused at how I couldn't work it out. But not as amused as the description by another friend of my first encounter with a coin release shopping trolley, I couldn't work it out at all, she was just stood there looking at me like I'd just dropped in from another planet.

I think the issue is to not lose perspective. Having someone else to reassure you is helpful, although you don't want them to do stuff for you. 

But what if you are alone?

It is up to you, so you need to be aware you may feel like this, it will pass, and to be kind to yourself. You have not failed, you have just found a problem with the process.

You need to allow for the fact that being tired, hungry, in a rush, worrying about other things will affect your ability to do something, but more importantly your emotional response will differ.

I think it is useful to to step back, have a cup of tea, and think, will this matter next week, next month, in 5 years time. A lot of things which seem important at that moment, aren't really when you consider the bigger picture. 

Is there another way to do the same thing? Could you buy it from another site, go to a shop, borrow it, etc.

I the bigger picture, if you had problems with something you will not be alone. It is quite unlikely you will be the only person to have found this issue.

You can share this online, you can search for suggestions, you may even send a note to the company to say are they aware of this problem or possibility of confusion.

The people who write user guides, instructions, design user interfaces do their best (in the time they have) to make things intuitive and easy. They sometimes do user trials. But they don't think of everything and feedback helps to improve things for everyone.

So it is not that you are stupid, it's just you have found an opportunity for improvement. This should make you feel better.

If I see something I might have issues with I write down a step by step guide, so that when I do it in future it will be ok. I may not need it, or after a few times it may not be needed. It takes away the pressure and uncertainty. 

Also, some websites can get confused or time out, using the back button or editing fields too much can cause issues. Sometimes it is just a question of closing the browser and doing it again from the start and it works 1st time.

The conditions for being a "useless human", or even an informal definition of the term as it is being implied to be used by you here, are clear to me, but maybe this will make you feel better: I'd likely failed in the same ways you did, AND I don't have any friends.

So you, in some sense, you outrank me as a human being.

I don't fear being crushed by the weight of it all, mostly I don't take other peoples stuff on board anymore. People tell me to ask for help, then when I do nobodies around, they're at work, on holiday, or even worse will come round and sit and look at me like I might explode at any moment, what their really waitntg for is for me to suddenly get "better". Or people will try to tell me how to organise my life in a way that takes away all the things I enjoy, like cooking in exchange for ready meals which I don't enjoy even if there are any I can eat. I end up feeling like they're attempting to tidy me away. Either that or I just get ignored and at best patted on the head.

TheCatWoman said:

pressed the wrong thing and that it's not a visa debit card which it is, so that was a fail.

Just stay calm and double check everything.   I had a similar experience.   I checked and realised that although both my debit and credit cards were from the same bank.  My debit card was VISA,  my credit card was MASTERCARD.

Yes, that certainly is a very real struggle. People will tell you that you‘re allowed to struggle, but their actions tell you otherwise. It‘s scary how quickly those expectations transfer from external sources to internal conflicts and all this piled up stuff goes over one’s head so that at some point you‘re scared that it would crush you upon any sign of weakness, while the strongest action in this situation really is asking for help. I hope I understood your comment correctly and am sorry that you‘ve had those expectations placed upon you. 

Thank you Emmalephant, for your kind words. One of the problems with being seen as strong and particularly a strong woman, is that it makes it so much harder to be unable to do something, people assume that you're just being difficult or deliberately stupid and when the strong start to wobble it seem sot make everyone feel less safe, so they don't allow you to have a wobble and just pile more stuff on you so as cope. You can carry on just coping and getting on with it that you wear youself out, emotionally and physically and then the fumits really hit the windmill!

Days, weeks, even months can be like this. You‘re a smart and strong person, but that doesn‘t mean that you‘re not allowed to struggle. It‘s okay, you‘re still a worthy human being. Would you call a friend ”useless“ if they were to tell you something similar? Probably not. Be kind to yourself!

I use an Apple iPad and I find it very good to use - much more user friendly than a laptop. It’s the only tech thing that I get on well with. Same for my son - he loves his. If I have to use the laptop for any reason I get really anxious about it and keep having problems. 

You can have a smart meter fitted but have it in ‘dumb mode’ so it’s not Smart. 

I’m so sorry these experiences made you feel this way! I am very familiar with it though - I often feel like this! The systems we are forced to use for things like this (electricity companies etc) are often badly designed and hugely frustrating. It’s there job to make them user friendly for all sorts of people -  it they are often user hostile! Don’t blame yourself - I’m sure you have lots of other wonderful qualities that are of much more value than filling out an online form. I hope you’re feeling better now

Excellent, it didn't offend me at all and sums up how I feel about it.

To be honest wherever you go they will try and get you to have a smart meter, my house has stone walls, some are nearly 3ft thick, they fitted an aerial to the meter.
Im currently having the house rewired, the electrician is local and understands the houses, every room is being hard wired for broadband. That would be a bit extreme for you.
I own the cottage next door, that’s with EON and has an older meter, they keep trying to get me to have a smart meter, the old one is apparently obsolete. The problem with anything seems to happen when something doesn’t fit their pre designed system. 

I hope this doesn’t offend you.

I'm moving away from octopus, they may have people answering phones, and they make all the right noises and nothing changes. Their answer to everything is to send them a photo, I keep telling them I have no way of doing that which seems to make thier brains fizzle out, they can't get their heads around the idea that I don't have herds of people on tap to do things for me and they seem to have no alternatives to photos and other digital solutions. After it taking over a year to sort out a bill of 5k after a new meter was installed and the installer didn't register it, I still get the odd bill for that amount, because somebody hasn't read the file properly. I also think they're now underbilling us and we're building up a debt. They maybe the cheapest and the so called best, but not for me, I don't need this amount of hassle, nor do I need to be told I have to have a smart meter, get emails saying my old meter is getting past it's date and not telling me they want to install a smart meter and then giving me no other option. The materials our house is built from do not conduct wireless signals well and every device has to have a booster, the hub has a booster, the boiler and thermostat have one, we have a booster in the kitchen so as we can get wi-fi in the garage, out tv humax box has to be connected by a cable or we get no signal. I've explained all of this multiple times, they accept that a smart meter would be a problem in a house like ours, but they still don't get it. I'm sure I can't be the only one who's house is built from materials that don't conduct well.

You’re not useless, remember the dsm-5 states that autistic people require support. When I was at school, personal computers hadn’t been invented, the same as you, I’ve had to teach myself, it has varied success!

You mentioned in a previous post that you left school with no qualifications, you went on to get a degree, that’s definitely not being useless, that’s a massive success.

Online forms require filling out in an exact way, some will require a space in the middle of a postcode, some don’t. The payment area has a different box for Visa debit and credit, it’s very easy to get it wrong. Sometimes I just walk away and try again later.

I’ve moved my energy supply to Octopus, they do actually answer a phone with no robots and the staff are in the UK, I don’t like phones but they somehow make it easier.