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Useless Human

TheCatWoman

I feel really terrible, I tried to buy a birthday present for a friend, the website refused to accept my card because it said I'd pressed the wrong thing and that it's not a visa debit card which it is, so that was a fail.

Then I went to switch our power company, filled in all the forms, it was returned with stars saying that none of the fields were correct.

I give up, I feel totally useless and defeated and worthless. How does everyone else manage when it seems I can't even fill in a form correctly and get my name, address and date of birth wrong, it's not, but the form won't have it.

Parents

  • Days, weeks, even months can be like this. You‘re a smart and strong person, but that doesn‘t mean that you‘re not allowed to struggle. It‘s okay, you‘re still a worthy human being. Would you call a friend ”useless“ if they were to tell you something similar? Probably not. Be kind to yourself!

  • in reply to Emmalephant

    Thank you Emmalephant, for your kind words. One of the problems with being seen as strong and particularly a strong woman, is that it makes it so much harder to be unable to do something, people assume that you're just being difficult or deliberately stupid and when the strong start to wobble it seem sot make everyone feel less safe, so they don't allow you to have a wobble and just pile more stuff on you so as cope. You can carry on just coping and getting on with it that you wear youself out, emotionally and physically and then the fumits really hit the windmill!

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Yes, that certainly is a very real struggle. People will tell you that you‘re allowed to struggle, but their actions tell you otherwise. It‘s scary how quickly those expectations transfer from external sources to internal conflicts and all this piled up stuff goes over one’s head so that at some point you‘re scared that it would crush you upon any sign of weakness, while the strongest action in this situation really is asking for help. I hope I understood your comment correctly and am sorry that you‘ve had those expectations placed upon you. 

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  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Yes, that certainly is a very real struggle. People will tell you that you‘re allowed to struggle, but their actions tell you otherwise. It‘s scary how quickly those expectations transfer from external sources to internal conflicts and all this piled up stuff goes over one’s head so that at some point you‘re scared that it would crush you upon any sign of weakness, while the strongest action in this situation really is asking for help. I hope I understood your comment correctly and am sorry that you‘ve had those expectations placed upon you. 

Children
  • in reply to Emmalephant

    I don't fear being crushed by the weight of it all, mostly I don't take other peoples stuff on board anymore. People tell me to ask for help, then when I do nobodies around, they're at work, on holiday, or even worse will come round and sit and look at me like I might explode at any moment, what their really waitntg for is for me to suddenly get "better". Or people will try to tell me how to organise my life in a way that takes away all the things I enjoy, like cooking in exchange for ready meals which I don't enjoy even if there are any I can eat. I end up feeling like they're attempting to tidy me away. Either that or I just get ignored and at best patted on the head.