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Losing your safe person

SummerBerries

Hey guys. I'll try explain in the least amount of words.' Im autistic. My partner of 4 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago. It was "amicable", as in there was no screaming arguments or anything. He decided we weren't the same people as when we met and we had "drifted apart" (Although I never saw this and was blindsided). But that means I'm still in love with him. Additionally, my ex was the only person I unmasked around. He was my safe person. Before we met I was extremely miserable all the time because I had nothing happy in my life. Even my best friend I cannot fully unmask around. I now feel so so alone and like I've been put back in a box. Idk how to move on from my ex when he was the only person I was myself around. I feel like a piece of me is missing now and in a deeper way than just the relationship breakup. I only have my best friend and my mum, my circle is very small. And I honestly don't know how to keep going when I genuinely believe my life will not get better. I can't work full time, I can't form connections, and now I can't even share my autistic rambles and "weirdness". I don't think anyone else will ever get me. I just really don't see a reason to live when I believe the happiest time of my life is over and I will never experience it again.

So to my fellow Neurodivergents, have you been in a similar situation losing your safe person and struggling to see any future? Any advice?

Parents

  • Dear SummerBerries, 

    Thank you for posting and telling the community what you are going through. We are sorry to hear that you are currently going through a relationship break up and losing your safe person. It is good that you’ve let us know what’s happening and how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay.     

     If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support . 

    The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. We advise you to contact 999 or any of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page if you are at risk of immediate harm: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help  

    If you are not at immediate risk of harm, we would encourage you to speak to your GP or another health professional about this if you haven’t done so already. If it’s outside your GP hours call 111 to reach the NHS 111 service. In England, Wales and Scotland there is now an option to speak with mental health professionals by selecting ‘option 2’ when calling NHS 111: https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/  

    Help for anyone struggling to cope  

    • Samaritans: Call 116 123 for free, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  
    • Mind Infoline: 0300 1233393 for information and signposting (9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday)   
    • SANEline: 0300 304 7000 for anyone experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else (4.30pm to 10.30pm, every day)  
    • Shout 85258: a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone struggling to cope.  

    We hope this is helpful to you.  

    Kind regards 

    Rosie Mod  

Reply

  • Dear SummerBerries, 

    Thank you for posting and telling the community what you are going through. We are sorry to hear that you are currently going through a relationship break up and losing your safe person. It is good that you’ve let us know what’s happening and how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay.     

     If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support . 

    The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. We advise you to contact 999 or any of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page if you are at risk of immediate harm: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help  

    If you are not at immediate risk of harm, we would encourage you to speak to your GP or another health professional about this if you haven’t done so already. If it’s outside your GP hours call 111 to reach the NHS 111 service. In England, Wales and Scotland there is now an option to speak with mental health professionals by selecting ‘option 2’ when calling NHS 111: https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/  

    Help for anyone struggling to cope  

    • Samaritans: Call 116 123 for free, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  
    • Mind Infoline: 0300 1233393 for information and signposting (9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday)   
    • SANEline: 0300 304 7000 for anyone experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else (4.30pm to 10.30pm, every day)  
    • Shout 85258: a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone struggling to cope.  

    We hope this is helpful to you.  

    Kind regards 

    Rosie Mod  

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