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Losing your safe person

SummerBerries

Hey guys. I'll try explain in the least amount of words.' Im autistic. My partner of 4 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago. It was "amicable", as in there was no screaming arguments or anything. He decided we weren't the same people as when we met and we had "drifted apart" (Although I never saw this and was blindsided). But that means I'm still in love with him. Additionally, my ex was the only person I unmasked around. He was my safe person. Before we met I was extremely miserable all the time because I had nothing happy in my life. Even my best friend I cannot fully unmask around. I now feel so so alone and like I've been put back in a box. Idk how to move on from my ex when he was the only person I was myself around. I feel like a piece of me is missing now and in a deeper way than just the relationship breakup. I only have my best friend and my mum, my circle is very small. And I honestly don't know how to keep going when I genuinely believe my life will not get better. I can't work full time, I can't form connections, and now I can't even share my autistic rambles and "weirdness". I don't think anyone else will ever get me. I just really don't see a reason to live when I believe the happiest time of my life is over and I will never experience it again.

So to my fellow Neurodivergents, have you been in a similar situation losing your safe person and struggling to see any future? Any advice?

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  • Yes I've lost my safe person. It wasn't a relationship but a good friend. They seemed to really understand and was one of the only people that actively wanted to talk to me and be my friend. They were the person I confided in, ranted too, messaged about my day, told my funny little stories too, could be weird around. It was the most comfortable I've ever felt with a person. And then gradually it faded away. I tried so hard to stop it but they just didn't seem to want it anymore. Now it's barely anything and there is a big hole in my life. I've lost so much and they're just happily enjoying life with their less weird friends. It really gets me down. I too struggle to form connections and now I'd be really wary of even trying because I wouldn't want to feel this level of hurt again.

    I wish I had some advice for you but I haven't found a solution myself.

Reply

  • Yes I've lost my safe person. It wasn't a relationship but a good friend. They seemed to really understand and was one of the only people that actively wanted to talk to me and be my friend. They were the person I confided in, ranted too, messaged about my day, told my funny little stories too, could be weird around. It was the most comfortable I've ever felt with a person. And then gradually it faded away. I tried so hard to stop it but they just didn't seem to want it anymore. Now it's barely anything and there is a big hole in my life. I've lost so much and they're just happily enjoying life with their less weird friends. It really gets me down. I too struggle to form connections and now I'd be really wary of even trying because I wouldn't want to feel this level of hurt again.

    I wish I had some advice for you but I haven't found a solution myself.

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