Confused

I've suffered with suicidal thoughts since I was a teenager I'm in my 50s now. Back then I belive I had pmdd as the thoughts Coincided with My cycle. However in my late teens I was diagnosed with eupd. In the end I asked my gp for a hormonal pill to stop my monthly cycles which helped a bit. However in my 20s I was diagnosed with bipolar. I'm on so much medication yet I'm still getting suicidal thoughts. I was also told by a health practitioner that he thought I had autism!  I have asked my doctor what he thinks of my diagnoses and all he said was that he couldn't speculate. I seem to get triggered by stress and have awful melt downs and want to die. I just feel like there's no hope anymore and that nobody has any answers so I'm just left in the mental health system and they don't know what's wrong with me .

  • Dear Purplemoon2008,  

    Thank you for posting and telling the community what you are going through. We are sorry to hear that you are currently experiencing suicidal thoughts. It is good that you’ve let us know how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay.    

    If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support . 

    The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. We advise you to contact 999 or any of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page if you are at risk of immediate harm:https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help 

    If you are not at immediate risk of harm, we would encourage you to speak to your GP or another health professional about this if you haven’t done so already. If it’s outside your GP hours call 111 to reach the NHS 111 service. In England, Wales and Scotland there is now an option to speak with mental health professionals by selecting ‘option 2’ when calling NHS 111:https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/ 

    Help for anyone struggling to cope 

    • Samaritans: Call 116 123 for free, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  
    • Mind Infoline: 0300 1233393for information and signposting (9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday) 
    • SANEline: 0300 304 7000for anyone experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else (4.30pm to 10.30pm, every day)  
    • Shout 85258:a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone struggling to cope.  

    We hope this is helpful to you. 

    Kind regards,

    Rosie Mod 

    • Thanks sunnyshine and welcome to the group . Yes samaritans are wonderful and there are some lovely people on here  x
  • i don't know anything about autism and this is also my first time on this site, I was only diagnosed a few days ago ( i am 43 years old) . but I just wanted to say I am glad you haven't acted upon these thoughts and just wanted to say when these thoughts occur do consider reaching out to Samaritans (phonecall) or shout. (Text) both are really good and will just listen without judgment  in real time i have used them. this community here seems really full of good people too

  • Thanks catwoman yes I agree with you I'll have a chat with them . I can't carry on like this forever x

  • One of the problems with the way our health service is structured is that it isn't holistic, you see different people for different issues, often what your GP, as the gatekeeper feels is the best answer, so you get diagnosed with Bipolar and thats it nothing else wrong with you, of course you can't have gynae problems too. I can never understand why hormone disruption caused by the menstral cycle isn't treated by an endrocrinologist?

    It sounds to me like you need to go back to the begining and get totally rediagnosed, if your'e on so much medication and it's not working then it needs changing. Can you ask to speak to your consultant and ask for a serious review, tell them what you've told us, if you're still not happy, then ask for a second opinion.

    I do understand the menstral roller-coaster all to well, menopause was such a relief.

  • That's very interesting stuart333 I will have a chat with my gp . Thanks for your reply x

  • I read something in the paper a few weeks ago about a woman with similar or worse issues, was bipolar, sectioned, etc. with various mounting diagnoses over the years. It turned out she was low in testosterone, a small amount is needed by women, and just like for men not enough affects your brain function. With supplements, at a low level, all the other issues disappeared. Since it is testable by a simple blood test it may be worth a go.