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Feeling something but don’t know what it is and why I’m close to start crying

Alien0n3arth

This picture shows as accurately as possible my emotional state. I don’t even know what would help me. I started realising that this is one of my life long problems and have no idea what to do about it. I feel so much fatigue that I can’t do anything, I’m stuck. Recently I continued my project - tram lines and time tables but now I can’t even do this. 

Just sharing, not sure why. Maybe anyone experiences similar or has any advice.

sorry for pessimistic post, tried to make it short

Parents

  • It’s okay. These thoughts and feelings exist and you’re free to post about them whenever.

    Fatigue and frustration (?) are well-known feelings for many on here, I think. You’re not alone, even though you might feel like it right now. Maybe those feelings pile up over longer periods of time and then just burst out as the urge to loose them through crying. There are many things I’d like to do, but am unable to without completely draining myself. This thought frustrates me endlessly. There are days that feel slow and sometimes I can’t bear that feeling of missing out on life because I’m stuck in my safe space while sitting out those days.

    Maybe that’s not at all what you’re experiencing, maybe it is in some regard. Try to treat yourself with patience. It is (unfortunately) very likely that you’ll feel more frequent and heavier fatigue than many neurotypical people. Rest, recharge and track how you’re feeling (since burnout is also a common thing among autistic folks). 
    Sometimes resting can be fun (pursuing interests or working on relaxing projects). However, there are times when resting isn’t fun, because your body literally cannot do anything and the endless frustration about that just adds to this feeling.

    Sorry you’re feeling the way you do and sorry that I couldn’t help any further. You’re a strong, creative and kind person (at least that’s my personal impression of you). 

  • in reply to Emmalephant

    You may be depressed.

    You can be autistic and depressed.

    In burnout you will still be able to do your special interest(s) and it will help.

    In depression you will not want to do anything.

    Sleep is disturbed in depression. Sleeping more does not help depression but does help burnout.

    In both you will want to withdraw, but in depression it can make it worse, in burnout it is a coping mechanism.

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  • in reply to Emmalephant

    You may be depressed.

    You can be autistic and depressed.

    In burnout you will still be able to do your special interest(s) and it will help.

    In depression you will not want to do anything.

    Sleep is disturbed in depression. Sleeping more does not help depression but does help burnout.

    In both you will want to withdraw, but in depression it can make it worse, in burnout it is a coping mechanism.

Children
  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    Understandable. Being blocked after barely gathering enough momentum to do anything while already feeling fatigue is rather frustrating. It’s great that you’re still drawing though since that seems to help you in your therapy. Hopefully you and your therapist will figure out some coping strategies and maybe the reason behind all of this. Knowing where something comes from can be just as important as looking for possible solutions.

  • in reply to Stuart333

    thank you, I remember Paul Micalleff in his channel “Asperger from the inside” said that in burnout you loose energy to do anything that gave you fun before. I don’t know what I’m feeling so I can’t differentiate if it’s burnout or depression or anything else. I drew more pictures to show them my therapist 

    i think here it also may play a role, that I would like to do something related to my hobby, but I’m being constantly interrupted and disturbed. There is too much going on and I’m overwhelmed.