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Suicidal.

Zeb

Hi,

I'm a 27 year old male recently diagnosed with autism, which has made a lot of sense of the great difficulties I have faced - my sensitivity both with senses and emotions, and my tendency to be obsessive.

I've struggled with anxiety, panic attacks and depression for many years now and feel my best days are far behind me.  I'm very isolated, and it's hard to break out due to my fear of going to new places and meeting new people.

I feel that I don't belong in this world, and I have been battling deep emotional pain that I can't cope with, and I have been feeling suicidal for a long time.  I am getting to the point now where I have made plans, but it's not at all easy to face dying.  It's a catch 22 between facing the pains of life and the terror of death.

I feel very little hope and battle every day through these feelings of pointlessness and dread, and I don't know how much longer I can go on for.

I've been through the mental health services and my only hope is to pursue support from autism services, to see if with any assistance, I can feel that life is worth living again.  Maybe if I could find some kind of community and build more routine and belonging into my life, there might be hope.  It's so hard to meet new people and make friends.

Parents

  • Hello Zeb, 

    I'm sorry to hear about your situation and the pain you're in. I can empathise. I think you have already taken some positive steps towards recovery with your art and walking and accessing autism services. There are better days ahead, although you can't see or imagine them now. Just take small steps and don't look too far into the future. Sometimes it's such a big achievement to do the smallest things, so don't expect too much of yourself and just be proud of what you can do.  Wishing you well!

Reply

  • Hello Zeb, 

    I'm sorry to hear about your situation and the pain you're in. I can empathise. I think you have already taken some positive steps towards recovery with your art and walking and accessing autism services. There are better days ahead, although you can't see or imagine them now. Just take small steps and don't look too far into the future. Sometimes it's such a big achievement to do the smallest things, so don't expect too much of yourself and just be proud of what you can do.  Wishing you well!

Children
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