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I struggle with not knowing if I should push myself or accomodate myself

Octopuses.are.aliens

Not really sure how to write this but I guess I'll just start 

I have autism alongside adhd and a mental health diagnosis, i'm mostly independent and live alone and a student currently studying online. I've been to a 'brick' in person uni before and found that pretty challenging prior to being diagnosed

I had alot of support in my past due to mental health issues and now i'm somewhat better with a new diagnosis of ASD and ADHD alongside that i'm viewed as if I should be independent and the general consensus I get from professionals is that I should be working 

I've had psychiatrists write that alot of it is self doubt with me and I find this conflicting in my mind because it's not self doubt, I feel like I don't know how 

Academically, I have alot to show but in other areas theres a big lack 

The problem is is that I don't know if i'm ruling myself out of something I am able to do, when I should be pushing myself abit and when I should be accomodating the fact that I do have disabilities 

I don't know how to honestly say I could do that or to know that I am pushing myself too hard 

Any advice? Interested in hearing your stories too if you feel comfortable sharing 

Parents

  • I really agree with everyone else here in that it's really tricky to get the right balance. I'm 52 and was diagnosed about 3 years ago. In my case I think that I would have done less with my life if I'd had my diagnosis younger. I was always pushing myself because I felt that I had to work hard to get better at socialising, annoyed with myself that I wasn't good enough to fit in with others.

    I had a lot of very upsetting times at school, college, parties, weddings etc, but after going home and recovering from the upset I tried again and again. Each time I analysed what I thought I'd done right and wrong, so that I would know next time. It was a very slow and painful process but it did lead to me getting better at socialising.

    Since my diagnosis I have taken my foot of the gas and not attended social things as much, giving myself permission to not go through the stress. However, I think that has culminated in me now having much higher anxiety when I do see people.

    So for me, I keep going out and pushing myself to the limit as much as possible, a reasonable level of discomfort is OK.

Reply

  • I really agree with everyone else here in that it's really tricky to get the right balance. I'm 52 and was diagnosed about 3 years ago. In my case I think that I would have done less with my life if I'd had my diagnosis younger. I was always pushing myself because I felt that I had to work hard to get better at socialising, annoyed with myself that I wasn't good enough to fit in with others.

    I had a lot of very upsetting times at school, college, parties, weddings etc, but after going home and recovering from the upset I tried again and again. Each time I analysed what I thought I'd done right and wrong, so that I would know next time. It was a very slow and painful process but it did lead to me getting better at socialising.

    Since my diagnosis I have taken my foot of the gas and not attended social things as much, giving myself permission to not go through the stress. However, I think that has culminated in me now having much higher anxiety when I do see people.

    So for me, I keep going out and pushing myself to the limit as much as possible, a reasonable level of discomfort is OK.

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