I struggle with not knowing if I should push myself or accomodate myself

Not really sure how to write this but I guess I'll just start

I have autism alongside adhd and a mental health diagnosis, i'm mostly independent and live alone and a student currently studying online. I've been to a 'brick' in person uni before and found that pretty challenging prior to being diagnosed

I had alot of support in my past due to mental health issues and now i'm somewhat better with a new diagnosis of ASD and ADHD alongside that i'm viewed as if I should be independent and the general consensus I get from professionals is that I should be working

I've had psychiatrists write that alot of it is self doubt with me and I find this conflicting in my mind because it's not self doubt, I feel like I don't know how

Academically, I have alot to show but in other areas theres a big lack

The problem is is that I don't know if i'm ruling myself out of something I am able to do, when I should be pushing myself abit and when I should be accomodating the fact that I do have disabilities

I don't know how to honestly say I could do that or to know that I am pushing myself too hard

Any advice? Interested in hearing your stories too if you feel comfortable sharing

Parents

TheCatWoman 10 days ago

I know what you mean, and it can't really be described as self doubt, but like you say not knowing, I hate it when people ask me what I want in life, I'm 63 and I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. People make suggestions and I end up sounding like I'm playing the yes, but game and I'm not, there are reasons, not excuses, for why I can't do some things, but a lot of the time I end up thinking 'well anyone could do that if they had the tools and knew how'.

I need to be able to picture something in my mind before I can do it and even then whats in my head dosen't always come forth into the world, like I can visualise dance steps, but I have no sense of rhythm at all. I'm the same with tech, its like a big featureless grey wall that can't see around or over.

I wonder if it's not so much that us as ASC people don't know if we'd be able to do something or that we'd be pushing to hard, but that we have problems visualising ourselves doing something and need something a bit more lateral. But then I know some people on here are very vertical thinkers and everything has a set of logical steps, if you're brain dosen't work that way it's very hard to explain to people.

Reply

TheCatWoman 10 days ago

I know what you mean, and it can't really be described as self doubt, but like you say not knowing, I hate it when people ask me what I want in life, I'm 63 and I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. People make suggestions and I end up sounding like I'm playing the yes, but game and I'm not, there are reasons, not excuses, for why I can't do some things, but a lot of the time I end up thinking 'well anyone could do that if they had the tools and knew how'.

I need to be able to picture something in my mind before I can do it and even then whats in my head dosen't always come forth into the world, like I can visualise dance steps, but I have no sense of rhythm at all. I'm the same with tech, its like a big featureless grey wall that can't see around or over.

I wonder if it's not so much that us as ASC people don't know if we'd be able to do something or that we'd be pushing to hard, but that we have problems visualising ourselves doing something and need something a bit more lateral. But then I know some people on here are very vertical thinkers and everything has a set of logical steps, if you're brain dosen't work that way it's very hard to explain to people.

Children

No Data