What is there to hope for?

Hi,

I'm a 52 year old computer engineer who talks IRL\online every day when at work, but has never asked a question online to complete strangers. Forgive me for spelling, grammar, over sharing - I've not done anything (recently) that is causing me as much stress as this is doing. :)

I'm really not happy. I've failed at pretty much all of life. Although I'm seemly intelligent, I'm unable to perform the most basic of social tasks without freaking out and\or running away.

I'm at rock bottom again. Although I've been here in the past and it's really not nice living without hope, I managed to build a foundation i.e. somewhere to place and fill a structure then start to rebuild and someday hopefully manage to feel part of this world. What I needed was an anchor, somewhere to fall back to, to feel safe, have a place to stand whilst I tried to obtain some self worth.

In the past I used family and what little friends I had, to form a bedrock. A reason to try again, to find a reason that I can build upon. I need a reason, (beyond mere hope that things will change for the better), to get out of bed in the morning and start to try to make another connection with the world.

For a normal person, this would be incredibly difficult to find. My conditions i.e. I'm austic, asexual and my other biological problem that makes virtually any kind of social relationship almost impossible. I'm quite bad a small talk, I have no interests beyond tech.

Any suggestions would be gratefully received.

Cheers,

Paul

Parents
  • Hi, you made me think back to the 90s when internet chat rooms started, after connecting with the noisy modem. 

    I was diagnosed 2 months ago so fairly new to this - therefore hoping some others on here may know of some decent Discord Servers if you prefer the "live" format of them compared to this forum ?  TBH I've never used it, but my son does he's in IT and PC Games (when not working), although not too sure how safe the platform is ?

Reply
  • Hi, you made me think back to the 90s when internet chat rooms started, after connecting with the noisy modem. 

    I was diagnosed 2 months ago so fairly new to this - therefore hoping some others on here may know of some decent Discord Servers if you prefer the "live" format of them compared to this forum ?  TBH I've never used it, but my son does he's in IT and PC Games (when not working), although not too sure how safe the platform is ?

Children
  • Hi,

    Thanks for replying.  I haven't heard of any Discord servers for this site, but there may well be.  Discord servers are normal\safe, as long as you remember rule1 of the internet i.e. don't click on things on web pages unless you're sure that it's safe.