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Confusion after interactions

TismTisnt

I’d like to just ask a question please. 
After I have interacted with ANYONE, I come away unsure how it went and feeling like I want to go back over some of the conversation with them. To check what each interaction meant and to clarify what I meant because their comments or actions left me feeling misunderstood. Is this autism? Do others experience this? Is there anything I can routinely do to stop the lengthy mental torture of it keep coming back in my mind trying to work out the truth & facts and feel ok?

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  • I used to have extreme anxiety about this but over the years I've both taught myself a bunch of social scripts and about social cues, and realized that both people in a conversation have accountability in a conversation. I've decided not to respond to subtext.

    We're both adults, if I said something to offend them, without realizing, it's on them to let me know. As long as I don't hear anything I let it go.

    It's exhausting to constantly pull apart every conversation and also completely unnecessary.

    People (also those who aren't autistic) are awkward in conversation sometimes, they say the wrong thing, they upset others and sometimes others are upset no matter what the other person's intention was. Interactions aren't black and white and it's impossible to do everything right at all times.

    That being said people are a lot more understanding, especially if you let them know you have trouble with social interactions. Sometimes they're not and you move on and find other people.

    Your question about if it's autism: could be. Could also be feeling insecure about who you are, or about taking up space, or a people pleasing issue.  

    It's okay to be disliked or to upset somebody sometimes, or to be misunderstood. People have such a specific lens through which they experience the world, feelings, intentions, interactions. It's a part of human interaction. The only thing you can do is be open to what they have to say if they share you've upset them. But before they actually come to you with a problem I'd assume nothing is wrong. 

  • in reply to Sjeminee

    Really enjoyed reading this and found it very useful. Thank you. 

  • in reply to TismTisnt

    Thank you! I'm so glad you did. 

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