I’m my whole life dissociative. It was much stronger in my childhood. Now, as I’m trying to be more present, I face more intense sensory issues etc. as a kid I remember myself wondering if other people are real or just actors in a movie. In my childhood it was really bad.
As a teen I used to do things that I didn’t register at all. For example put my favorite CD into the fridge (instead of food) and I didn’t realize it was CD. Then I had meltdowns whenever I saw that something was missing on my shelf. It was usually me replacing my own belongings in a dissociative state. But I had a very strong emotional connection to my belongings, I couldn’t cope with the fact it wasn’t there. My family thinks I just grew out of this but they have no idea how much effort I put to stop it. Dissociations are highly stressful for me.
