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andi

Hi. So my aunt who I hold in very high stead doesn’t really believe I have my autism diagnosis and that I’ve been misdiagnosed and am just anxious and have a trauma response instead because she said I don’t really have the signs of autism cuz she worked with kids and I never presented the same. She keeps comparing me to my cousin who she’s convinced that has autism and ADHD (he’s 21).  

my dad fully believes I am said he’s done a whole lot of research for ages and said I’ve got the markers and have mannerisms and in the way I present. 

I’ve realised I’m a very heavy masker in most situations and am very very rearly myself true authentic self yet I know if I’m fully myself il get taken the mick of. 

Do you guys have any advise? I’m moving soon (hopefully) so I’m hoping I’ll be able to unmasks and finally not feel so tired all the time haha 

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  • andi said:
    She keeps comparing me to my cousin who she’s convinced that has autism and ADHD (he’s 21).  

    Tell her it is a spectrum confition so people have a range of symptoms at different levels of intensity so no 2 autistic people are exactly alike.

    You could also point out that it is almost certainly hereditary and then see if you can spot if she has autistic traits too - this tends to put the cat amongst the pigeons and stops them wanting to talk about it.

    Or you could realise her opinions are ignorant and poorly informed - like most of the rest of the population unfortunately, so treat it as her failing, forgive her and file it under "stuff to not get on my nerves".

    Learning to stop caring about other peoples opinions (unless they are really important to you) is an invaluable life skill.

  • in reply to Iain

    I think what winds me up is my cousin has never been diagnosed. I think they use me as a point of reference think I’m just a bit odd and say my cousin is worse and that’s why he has it and I don’t. But he’s also very self centred and thinks he’s better then everyone and knows more then everyone and is just down right rude. But they say “that’s just the way he is you got to remember he’s on the spectrum” on the spectrum or not diagnosed or not doesn’t give you the right to treat people the way he does. And because “it’s just the way he is and he doesn’t understand” he’s not learning it’s wrong and is essentially just bullying everyone. I think that’s what winds me up the most 

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  • in reply to Iain

    I think what winds me up is my cousin has never been diagnosed. I think they use me as a point of reference think I’m just a bit odd and say my cousin is worse and that’s why he has it and I don’t. But he’s also very self centred and thinks he’s better then everyone and knows more then everyone and is just down right rude. But they say “that’s just the way he is you got to remember he’s on the spectrum” on the spectrum or not diagnosed or not doesn’t give you the right to treat people the way he does. And because “it’s just the way he is and he doesn’t understand” he’s not learning it’s wrong and is essentially just bullying everyone. I think that’s what winds me up the most 

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