Lack of support from my husband

Hello,

Im 37 years old, my whole life I was struggling with certain issues, just to find out few years ago that it might be autism. Last month I was officially diagnosed with autism. 

I am married, and we are 12 years together. We have nice marriage and we’ve always been a support to each other - until I got my diagnosis. 

He isn’t talking it seriously, and he is even mocking me. He doesn’t want to talk about it or read the documents that I got from the professional. He is calling me “pu**y”, being dramatic, spoiled, telling me to man up, saying that autism isn’t real and a “first world” problem, a trend... Few days ago he accidentally broke a plate and he said “oh, look, I'm autistic, hahaha”

It really hurts, often makes me cry. This is the first time I don’t know how to talk to him. We usually don’t fight often, but when we do, it could easily be avoided if he would understand some of my traits. 

It is especially hard, because we moved to the UK just 4 years ago, I don’t have any friends here - no one that I could talk to. I feel incredibly lonely, and I am becoming more and more depressed (which I never was before). Friends that I have abroad - I don’t feel comfortable bothering them with my issues, because they have bigger problems than me. Also, I don’t know anyone who is autistic.

Last year, I paid for a few psychotherapy sessions, but it didn’t help in any way.

Did anyone experience similar problems with the closest family? Any ideas or suggestions what to do and how to cope with this? 

Parents
  • Dear David93,

     

    Thank you for reaching out to the community, and I am sorry to hear about how 'especially hard' everything feels at present. I am sure there are many people who experience have similar thoughts when dealing with such issues and we hope you’re okay.

     

    In addition to the supportive and detailed responses from other users, you may want to use our Autism Services Directory to search for therapist services in your area that cater for autistic people. You can find the Directory here: https://www.autism.org.uk/directory.

     

    In addition, you could visit our NAS page on Family Relationships – a guide for partners of autistic people. Here we have information that might help partners understand their individual traits and relationship dynamics better, and tips on how one can manage their challenges: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/family-life-and-relationships/family-life/partners

     

    Please reach out to us if you have any more questions.

     

    Kind regards,

     

    Good_Vibes365

Reply
  • Dear David93,

     

    Thank you for reaching out to the community, and I am sorry to hear about how 'especially hard' everything feels at present. I am sure there are many people who experience have similar thoughts when dealing with such issues and we hope you’re okay.

     

    In addition to the supportive and detailed responses from other users, you may want to use our Autism Services Directory to search for therapist services in your area that cater for autistic people. You can find the Directory here: https://www.autism.org.uk/directory.

     

    In addition, you could visit our NAS page on Family Relationships – a guide for partners of autistic people. Here we have information that might help partners understand their individual traits and relationship dynamics better, and tips on how one can manage their challenges: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/family-life-and-relationships/family-life/partners

     

    Please reach out to us if you have any more questions.

     

    Kind regards,

     

    Good_Vibes365

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