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How do you get through the day?

mp500

How do you get through an entire day? I live with family which means I'm stuck in this miserable room on my own with no one to talk to. Before my relative retired, I could at least go in the garage, or make some food/coffee in the kitchen, which helped to break up the monotony. I was desperate for a cup of coffee yesterday so I went out to the next city (a two hour round trip) and had dinner there (but I really can'y afford to keep this up). I then spent the next few hours walking about 8 miles simply just to pass the time away. It was uncomfortable due to the cold. I suffer from a lot of tiredness and so I did very well to manage this. I was knackered when I got back.

I did practically sod all in November/December. In all that time I visited a friend in another city twice and had a catch up with someone I'd not seen in a while. This month (February) has actually been oddly busy, what with me finally remembering to go to a community group meeting, as well as a TV producer wanting to buy some video from me, a large national newspaper wanting an interview, and a friend ringing to inform me that half his city was cordoned off due to a bomb scare - I've never put the phone down and rushed off anywhere with my camera so quickly! I did very well with that given that I was loaded up on sleeping pills! Still, despite the excitement of this month, that has probably only filled up less than 10% of my time. The rest of it is sat in here, with nothing but a computer for company. 

I try and sleep during the day as then I can make food/coffee/etc during the night. This is difficult at times because 1) I don't sleep very well any more, and 2) Sometimes I need to be up during the day in order to do things - e.g. I went to Leeds on Saturday and I'm hoping to go to Manchester this coming Saturday. It is difficult to switch your sleep pattern at a moments notice. Even if I am up at night, I still have to pass the time away and deal with intrusive thoughts. So here I am, listening to music far too loud through headphones, loaded up on sleeping pills and pain killers, while trying to write something coherent, and wondering if I should make the cuts on my arms and legs worse, or whether I should just leave them for today.

  • in reply to DormouseAtRest_25

    A flask is a good idea which probably ought to have been obvious. I'm used to making coffee freshly, just as I am used to buying a fresh coffee at the shops. Unfortunately in the future I'm not going to be able to afford coffee shops, so I might have to start taking some with me :).

  • Dear mp500,  

    Thank you for posting and telling the community what you are going through. Thank you for sharing your experience. 

    The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. We advise you to contact 999 or any of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page if you are at risk of immediate harm: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help  

    If you are not at immediate risk of harm, we would encourage you to speak to your GP or another health professional about this if you haven’t done so already. If it’s outside your GP hours call 111 to reach the NHS 111 service. In in England, Wales and Scotland there is now an option to speak with mental health professionals by selecting ‘option 2’ when calling NHS 111: https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/  

    If you are interested in counselling (NHS & private), you may like to have a look at the Autism Services Directory: https://www.autism.org.uk/directory under ‘Health & Counsellors’. 

    This guide produced by NAS may be of interest. It collates suggestions on ways professionals can make mental health talking therapies better for autistic people.   

    Content note- the guide contains sections on suicide and self-harm: Good practice guide for professionals delivering therapy  

    You may also find the following useful:  

    Help for anyone struggling to cope  

    • Samaritans: Call 116 123 for free, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  
    • Mind Infoline: 0300 1233393 for information and signposting (9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday)   
    • SANEline: 0300 304 7000 for anyone experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else (4.30pm to 10.30pm, every day)  
    • Shout 85258: a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone struggling to cope.  

    We hope this is helpful to you.  

    Kind Regards,

    Rosie Mod

  • Unfortunately, feeling lonely and isolated is far from uncommon among us - and I definitely feel the same way.

    The NAS has a couple of resources that you might find helpful, which include links to further resources:

    NAS - Loneliness

    NAS - Making friends - a guide for autistic adults

    You might also find it helpful to contact your GP surgery and ask to be referred to a social prescriber / social prescribing link worker. This is something that I'm planning to do myself very soon.

    Their role is to work with you, potentially over several sessions, in order to develop a personalised care and support plan that meets your "practical, social and emotional needs that affect their [your] health and wellbeing". This model operates throughout the UK. For example: 

    NHS England - Social prescribing

    You might also find this article helpful, although I would also urge you to see your GP for advice and support:

    NAS - Self-injurious behaviour

    There's also a link at the top of this page which offers information about sources of "Urgent help", in case of need.

  • Coffee etc. in the peace and quiet, where you prefer, without getting involved in the kitchen so many times when others are around. 

    When kitchen is empty; make a small leakproof thermal flask of your preferred coffee and take it with you.

    A few of my successfully tested purchases:

    Amazon: £14.05 "Life venture Thermal Mug, Leakproof & Vacuum Insulated Reusable Coffee Travel Cup".  300 ml. (Not the flip top kind).

    Go Outdoors: Member's Price £14.00 "Lifeventure Thermal Mug".  300 ml.  (Not the flip top kind).

    Robert Dyas: My Dyas Price £7.99 "500ml Stainless Steel Flask".

    Often these flasks will happily fit in the side-pod of a rucksack.

    The initial outlay csn be budgeted for, I have used them time and again (numerous times).  Drink what hot beverage you like, where you choose, when you like.  These small flasks have saved me a fortune in the long term.

    If I am attending a medical appointment, or an in-person course, maybe at work - I use the flask the same way.  No need to get involved with the raucous kitchen / cafe / coffee dispensing machine drama or expense.