Over the last few months my meltdowns and shutdowns have become more frequent. I'm barely working, I'm exhausted all the time. I feel so alone, useless and a burden and I don't want to go through this anymore. I don't know where to go to get help. I used to be able to do so much, why can't I be who I used to be? What happened, what went wrong?
I don't really know how I'm doing really
I suspect that if there were to be a winning lapel "burnout awareness" badge ...that phrase might win the top ranking as the ideal campaign candidate.
The business of do-then-rest (but all the while: switch off the guilt / feel lazy circuit) if a fine art. I don't think I have mastered it yet, but I am an active practitioner in the making.
I think if you are able to re-shape your week to some extent - that sounds promising. My simplistic "peak and trough" version is: a busy day needs (if practical) to be followed by a quieter day.
I hear you (loud and clear) about the challenge of accessing counselling. (There seems to something of a post code lottery with that regard). Recently, I was totally amazed (didn't see it coming) when our regional adult mental health team community hub declined to speak with me on the basis of "no need" (perhaps more accurately: "that doesn't fit our niche"?). What really stunned me was that they thought that constituted reasonable communication. It wouldn't be judged acceptable in my working World. Undeterred, thinking "latelings are us, get used to us" ...I battle forwards, one foot in front of the other.
When the nagging starts from the conscience about "cease the laziness" etc., I try hard to modify the self-voice tone; to apply the correction along the lines of: "this is what I am supposed to be doing right now, for now ...not a lot of the usual things".
From some of the other posts / threads on this forum; I believe we ought to take the encouragement from those further along the recovery path - that people can and do surface from burnout - but that the time line can be both frustrating and unique to a given individual and their circumstances.
Take care.
I've felt awful past few days ... I just haven't taken a break since my diagnosis early Jan this year. Work what would usually be fairly easy has been extremely difficult and slow, and every slight interruption (my manager is away) has just not helped, as my mind focus seems more on how I'm finding difficulties
My smart watch says low stress level but am feeling very anxious. I finally managed to knock some work out this afternoon - feels 50% slower than I know I would have done, and that's causing me to worry about what's happening. But within half hour of sending the work out, I felt much better
I think I'm going to have to take some time out soon and will reach out for some support next week.
Thank you
Hi, thank you. I have good days and bad days. I'm trying to organise my week so I have more time to get back on my feet after work. I have also tried to find counselling help but finding support is difficult. I don't think I always do the best at resting as I can't shake the feeling of guilt when I do.
I don't really know how I'm doing really
Hello Seren,
As a fellow "Burnout-ee", I find some days can be a bit more manageable than others.
I had some essential things (away from home) which I had to get done this morning (so this afternoon for me has been a bit of a blank - as I slowly try to recharge from this morning's errands).
It has been a few weeks since your original post. I hope you won't mind me enquiring; I wondered how you might be finding things this week?
You aren't useless or a burden, defo not alone either, it's something that everyone with autism experiences at some point unfortunately. Rest is your friend. Don't feel bad for resting, it is very necessary to get through this. My exams were a couple of years ago now and I am still feeling the effects from burnout. Trying to rush your recovery will set you back big time! I tried this a few days and it makes it worse so don't try, you'll feel as bad as ever. I didn't know I had burnout at the time-it was my school exams that triggered it but I thought it was just stress until it resulted in the ultimate fatigue that had me bedridden, I couldn't leave bed for long without getting exhausted, I had to go back to bed to rest otherwise I would fall over. It was that bad, like a flu virus but it never got better. When you're doing too much or under lots of stress burnout can quickly take hold, that was my problem and I think yours as well by the sounds of it.
I followed this Youtuber https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVtSEoof4no this video helped me a lot and it's helped a lot of others on the spectrum as well. Defo worth checking out. Its not a cure oc but it can be helpful.
The most important thing you can do is rest. You can never get too much rest, so when you feel you need it, have a nap or lay down. Don't feel bad for giving yourself more self care. You need it. Just remember, there's no quick way to recover, it takes time and there's no shame in this. Be kind to yourself, this will pass. Wish you well, positive vibes your way.
I don't know where to go to get help
My experience is one where I didn't know where to turn because there was nothing "specifically" wrong but I felt really ill. Potentially, due to communication difference from being autistic, it might be difficult to get the help one needs which can make you more burnout.
When in burnout on any level, R&R is needed. Proper R&R, without expectation. Even from yourself.
Maybe visiting a GP could help, but I'll also say when you eventually emerge out of it, you may start to understand yourself on a more fundamental basis, and from my perspective it is this which will help you going forward.
I found this video really helpful from what I remember youtu.be/wFCaoFX-pjg
This is by no means medical advice. Simply my perspective.
I've been off since early December and it took months of persuasion for my other half to get me to the GP. It's helped, although having to try and explain the same thing to different people is frustrating. Also, everyone is trying to help, but I can't explain what's wrong or how they can help, if I knew that I would've already done something about it.
I agree with the rest and research. Although I try not to be too obsessive about the research part!
I've asked myself those questions at the end of your post many times and I don't think there are answers, so I'm trying to reframe them.
'Why can't I be who I used to be?' - was I really ever that person, didn't trying to be that person cause burnout? I can't go backwards, so for me, the question now I think needs to be 'Who do I want to be?'.
'What happened, what went wrong?' - for me, there is no single thing, it's an accumulation of a whole load of things, there are individual triggers, so it's more 'How can I either cope better with those sorts of triggers or avoid them?'.
Naturally, everything you have written above is inarguable and wholly reasonable and defensible in every regard. I know that you know and you know that I know. So we're all good, I hope!
See my more expansive reasoning for my feelings - as below - in response to Bunny.
I am a thinker Bunny, and I do/have wondered why I evidently find the "standardised link-delivery format" irksome.....and I think I have realised why.
The only "standardised link-delivery format" posts that normally appear here are from the MODS. They normally wait for a good few hours to see if there are any "community takers" out there who might wish to make a "personal fist-bump" before they 'fill the void', if required, with that stuff. I believe this is their policy (or perhaps was) ... but I can't claim this as a certainty, nor am I invested to try and prove this.......it is merely my observed and understood reality....so shoot me if I'm wrong.
The MODS do a great job....and so do you with your links and help to people.
I am not a "standardised link-connected format" entity, so I suppose it is logical that I wouldn't particularly dig the styling.......but then you also don't enjoy bot-hunting either.....and you seem able to use punctuation and grammar properly too....whereas me.......wellll?!
We are just deeply different individuals....that's all. I'm missing the "community" feel of this place.....and I'm perhaps a bit raw and sad about that. I associate the MODS standardised posts appearing when community members don't find or respond to an OP.
PS. Naturally, everything you have written above is inarguable and wholly reasonable and defensible in every regard.
Why is advice on here these days, advising people to leave and seek help elsewhere?!
1) Safe advice is rarely useful to give or useful to receive, in many respects.
2) Useful advice is rarely safe to give or safe to receive, in many respects.......and it takes substantial effort to offer it as safely as possible.....so..... there needs to be COMMUNITY support to allow individuals to safely express their own opinions, their own views and their own advice.....even if that goes against all those links and institutional advice?
I don't really understand this but what I will say is that a mix of signposting and personal experience is a good mix, in my opinion.
There is actually far more of the latter than the former on here.
I'm very pleased with Bunny s signposting to services that are available outside of the forum and also that they signpost to articles on the NAS site that are hard to find - I sometimes take these links to read myself.
A lot of effort goes into doing this for others and it's thoughtful.
In the meantime, there is still lots of the 'community support' that you mention here (ie the vast majority of contributing forum members) albeit diminished in quantity relative to the diminishing of numbers of contributors.
It doesn't have to be one or the other type of assistance - all can be good and helpful.
There are lots of good reasons why suggesting a visit to the GP can be genuinely helpful to people.
Some might not know that a GP can help them with their particular issue. Others might suspect that it could be a good starting point, but still benefit from a gentle nudge to get them over the line. Others could be in such a bad place that they can hardly process anything, let alone work out where and how best to start.
I agree (especially personally with regard to the 'gentle nudge')..
So I personally feel that signposting others to these resources can be an important way to support them.
I agree.
does anyone really not think for themselves that visiting their own GP is an option?! Really?!?
There are lots of good reasons why suggesting a visit to the GP can be genuinely helpful to people.
Some might not know that a GP can help them with their particular issue. Others might suspect that it could be a good starting point, but still benefit from a gentle nudge to get them over the line. Others could be in such a bad place that they can hardly process anything, let alone work out where and how best to start.
I've benefitted many times from being encouraged to contact my GP, including because of my executive function issues, procrastination, low mood, denial, hopelessness, wishful thinking, exhaustion, etc.
I didn't need help finding things to read, nor being told to find a group or a website
Why is advice on here these days, advising people to leave and seek help elsewhere?!
We're all different, so what we each need or want from this community can differ enormously.
That being said, I believe that links to NAS or external resources can be very helpful to people (as they were to me). They can make for a great starting point in building a better understanding of our autistic selves, and in learning about strategies and tools that might help us. Some NAS articles, in particular, also include views from autistic people and/or links to relevant articles in their blogs.
So I personally feel that signposting others to these resources can be an important way to support them. I also don't see the point of trying to reinvent wheels (by writing about subjects myself) when there are already purpose-built resources that provide the same or much better advice than I can offer (and that will be updated, over time, if and when knowledge or advice changes).
In saying that, I'm not trying to downplay the other vitally important aspects of this community that you've talked about (eg personal connections, empathy, reassurance, sharing experiences, etc).
These are clearly also a key part of what this community should offer. And, whilst it may not feel like it at times, I do hope and believe that - between us - this community does also deliver that.
That's a great idea to pursue. Many swear by meditation too...both ND and NT folk.
I thank you Mr T, it is nice to know that I can possibly still be of some use in this place, sometimes.
When I was in burnout, I felt (and frankly was) utterly bereft, lonely, scared, lost and more vulnerable than I had ever thought possible. All I craved was honest, direct and personal connection with anyone who could hear and understand me. I didn't need help finding things to read, nor being told to find a group or a website......does anyone really not think for themselves that visiting their own GP is an option?! Really?!?
I needed HUMAN ...contact.....connection...gentle support....reassurance......isn't that what a COMMUNITY FORUM is ideally placed to do?!
Why is advice on here these days, advising people to leave and seek help elsewhere?!
1) Safe advice is rarely useful to give or useful to receive, in many respects.
2) Useful advice is rarely safe to give or safe to receive, in many respects.......and it takes substantial effort to offer it as safely as possible.....so..... there needs to be COMMUNITY support to allow individuals to safely express their own opinions, their own views and their own advice.....even if that goes against all those links and institutional advice?
For whatever reason, this COMMUNITY FORUM is not feeling quite right.....to me?!
