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Dealing with bad news.

mrs.snooks

Just needing some support.

One of my closest friends has just been diagnosed with cancer. I am really strugging at the moment. I have very few friends, so the ones I actually do have are really special and closer to me than some members of my family.

I am overwlemed with grief as I try to support her. At least I have stopped crying uncontrollably. 

Plus work is difficult and my colleagues are very challenging with their negative behaviour and attitudes.

So, what with work and my sadness, it is difficult to remind myself of three positive things to help keep me grounded. I know what I need to do to look after myself and that I am grateful that her chances of cure are good. But I am really sad and don't feel that crying helps. In fact, I almost feel that if I cry I just make myself more triggered.

Thanks in advance.

Mrs Snooks.

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  • Last year, I was dealing with a similar scenario (a long term friend undergoing cancer treatment) plus loads of my own challenges all at the same time.  The friend is fortunate to have completed their treatment plan and, this year, they have dared to start filling their diary with things to which they would like to look forward to doing.

    Reflecting upon some of what my side of the experience felt like; I think it taught me some things which I had perhaps not before considered.  The headline realisation for me was: that I really don't have many people within my inner circle - so those who do fall into that category can mean a lot more to me (certainly, it would seem, more so than other people around me would seem to understand in respect of how such traumatic news impacts me).  I was shocked  / unnerved that two of my closest relatives really did not "get it" (despite my talking with them about it at the time last year).

    I think it unlikely that I have finished thinking about it all.  I suspect that is natural in the circumstances (maybe particularly so for an Autistic person).

    Struggling to be grounded by thinking of three positive things isn't something which happens every day (there are up days and down days).

    Wishing you (and your Friend) the best available fortune on your respective journeys through your own scenarios.

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  • Last year, I was dealing with a similar scenario (a long term friend undergoing cancer treatment) plus loads of my own challenges all at the same time.  The friend is fortunate to have completed their treatment plan and, this year, they have dared to start filling their diary with things to which they would like to look forward to doing.

    Reflecting upon some of what my side of the experience felt like; I think it taught me some things which I had perhaps not before considered.  The headline realisation for me was: that I really don't have many people within my inner circle - so those who do fall into that category can mean a lot more to me (certainly, it would seem, more so than other people around me would seem to understand in respect of how such traumatic news impacts me).  I was shocked  / unnerved that two of my closest relatives really did not "get it" (despite my talking with them about it at the time last year).

    I think it unlikely that I have finished thinking about it all.  I suspect that is natural in the circumstances (maybe particularly so for an Autistic person).

    Struggling to be grounded by thinking of three positive things isn't something which happens every day (there are up days and down days).

    Wishing you (and your Friend) the best available fortune on your respective journeys through your own scenarios.

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