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Not Understanding Me.

Elphaba

Hi,

I was diagnosed at 43, a year after my mum died.  I live with my sister, who has an autistic fiancé.  I send her lots of information (often in meme form) about the parts of my condition that relate to me, but she still doesn't understand me.

Just now, I started to do something on my computer.  She came in and asked me to look at something of hers.  I said 'okay, as soon as I've done this' and she shouted at me for being rude.  How was I rude?  Just because I didn't immediately drop what I was doing to look at her thing?  She said it was my tone.  I reminded her of information I've previously shown her about autists' tone.  She knows I'm not a self-sacrificing Care Bear, and I shouldn't have to pretend to be different from what I am.  I purposely tried to say exactly what she says to me when I ask her to do something.  I guess she wouldn't like talking to herself.  

My mum used to always say that I was being rude when I don't believe I was.  It's so hard to live with my sister.  I can't move out of home, and she's not getting married any time soon.  We have the same GP, so I don't know if I can talk to him about these things.

Parents

  • Your GP has a duty of confidentiality to you, and won't tell your sister what you discuss, if they did then they could be struck off the medical register.

    I quite often geet told off for not jumping up immediately someone requests my attention to look at or do something, I often jump as I'm not expecting an interuption and am jerked out of whatever I've been concentrating on and have an exagerated startle reflex. If the house isn't on fire or anything equally urgent then why is it so important that I do it right now? Why can't I finish what I'm doing, the sentence I'm reading or writing, why is that so unreasonable?

    I think it's just one of those things about living with others, we annoy each other.

Reply

  • Your GP has a duty of confidentiality to you, and won't tell your sister what you discuss, if they did then they could be struck off the medical register.

    I quite often geet told off for not jumping up immediately someone requests my attention to look at or do something, I often jump as I'm not expecting an interuption and am jerked out of whatever I've been concentrating on and have an exagerated startle reflex. If the house isn't on fire or anything equally urgent then why is it so important that I do it right now? Why can't I finish what I'm doing, the sentence I'm reading or writing, why is that so unreasonable?

    I think it's just one of those things about living with others, we annoy each other.

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