Newly diagnosed and struggling

maehart said:

I used to have a pretty full life, work full time spend my weekends with friends, go on holiday.

What has changed in your life around the time things started going downhill? You don't need to share them but reflecting on them may reveal a trauma of some kind (often an accumulation of them) that has triggered you into your current state.

From my amateur and non qualified viewpoint it sounds like anxiety is a the core symptom that is leading to many of the other behaviours, symptoms and experiences.

Have you considered speaking with your GP about this? They may be able to get you an urgent referral to see if there is anything that can help in the short and mid term for you.

I would expect a therapist would be the most effective way to deal with many of the things you are dealing with but they are not cheap - at least £50/hour for most I have seen and I would expect dozens of sessions are what are needed to get you back to a resemblance of your old life, if you find the emotional / energy cost if something you are willing to accept.

It isn't easy but you have taken the first step of sharing and asking for advice so please keep that momentum going for as long as you can and you may be surprised at the benefits that a few calls can bring.

For now please keep active here, sharing and interacting with us as it is a great way to feel connected when you are in such a dark place. There are a lot of helpful and knowledgable people here who can share advice or experiences and help you feel less alone without the overhead of actually meeting with someone.

Thank you for taking time to reply. I do have a therapist, I have come on here at his suggestion. I am trying to move past the shame I have for being here and needing so much help. I have tried so hard to fit in and be 'normal' my whole life i am struggling to come to terms with being autistic and needing accommodations and support. 

maehart said:

I am trying to move past the shame I have for being here and needing so much help.

We all need help at some time or another - you are welcome to ask away here and should find us a non-judgemental and accommodating bunch on the whole.

One word of warning though, many autists have unconventional approaches to communication so you may find some replies would seem odd in everyday life or some may be coloured by their own traumas or upbringing so I would recommend not necessarily taking them on face value.

Personally I found educating myself about autism to be very helpful as I could better identify which issues were caused by my autism and then research ways to cope better with them.

A decent starting point to understand the subject is the book:

Understanding Autism For Dummies - Stephen Shore, Linda G. Rastelli, Temple Grandin (2006)
ISBN 0764525476

and this site is an excellent source of discussions on dealing with the issues - try the magnifying glass on the top centre of this web page to kick off a search using keywords.

I found once I took control of some aspects I felt less helpless - it grew my confidence as I understood myself better and could identify possible approaches to coping better. Focusing on the positives helped my state of mind too and with the help of a therapist to clarify many things and deal with things I had not anticipated (processing childhood trauma that was long forgotten was surprisingly empowering) then I was able to regain almost all my "normal" adult functioning.

For reference I was diagnosed at age 54 so had a lot of accumulated stuff to process.

maehart said:

i am struggling to come to terms with being autistic and needing accommodations and support. 

Personally I found it really helpful to think of being autistic as having green eyes or fair skin - just something you are born with and sometimes have aspects that you need to allow for (avoiding too much sun for example) - it is only one aspect of my physical self.

You may or may not need accommodations and support - I found myself able to manage in situations that would have been triggering before because I understood the triggers and how to process them in a way that was safe for me. Support I am able to provide myself as I can use mindfulness to work through issues and use techniques I was trained in by my therapist.

I still use my therapist a few times as year as a mental health checkup and to consider ways to grow and develop better coping skills.

I did still go through a time of needing help and there is no shame in that - we are only human and as such are inherently fallable. It is how you deal with it when you fail that you can be judged on.

So go on, be human, find that help and make things better for yourself. How you do this is all down to you and if you like we can point you in the right direction.

Just remember we are all just randoms from the internet so be careful in taking our advice without doing your own research,

maehart said:

I am trying to move past the shame I have for being here and needing so much help.

We all need help at some time or another - you are welcome to ask away here and should find us a non-judgemental and accommodating bunch on the whole.

One word of warning though, many autists have unconventional approaches to communication so you may find some replies would seem odd in everyday life or some may be coloured by their own traumas or upbringing so I would recommend not necessarily taking them on face value.

Personally I found educating myself about autism to be very helpful as I could better identify which issues were caused by my autism and then research ways to cope better with them.

A decent starting point to understand the subject is the book:

Understanding Autism For Dummies - Stephen Shore, Linda G. Rastelli, Temple Grandin (2006)
ISBN 0764525476

and this site is an excellent source of discussions on dealing with the issues - try the magnifying glass on the top centre of this web page to kick off a search using keywords.

I found once I took control of some aspects I felt less helpless - it grew my confidence as I understood myself better and could identify possible approaches to coping better. Focusing on the positives helped my state of mind too and with the help of a therapist to clarify many things and deal with things I had not anticipated (processing childhood trauma that was long forgotten was surprisingly empowering) then I was able to regain almost all my "normal" adult functioning.

For reference I was diagnosed at age 54 so had a lot of accumulated stuff to process.

maehart said:

i am struggling to come to terms with being autistic and needing accommodations and support. 

Personally I found it really helpful to think of being autistic as having green eyes or fair skin - just something you are born with and sometimes have aspects that you need to allow for (avoiding too much sun for example) - it is only one aspect of my physical self.

You may or may not need accommodations and support - I found myself able to manage in situations that would have been triggering before because I understood the triggers and how to process them in a way that was safe for me. Support I am able to provide myself as I can use mindfulness to work through issues and use techniques I was trained in by my therapist.

I still use my therapist a few times as year as a mental health checkup and to consider ways to grow and develop better coping skills.

I did still go through a time of needing help and there is no shame in that - we are only human and as such are inherently fallable. It is how you deal with it when you fail that you can be judged on.

So go on, be human, find that help and make things better for yourself. How you do this is all down to you and if you like we can point you in the right direction.

Just remember we are all just randoms from the internet so be careful in taking our advice without doing your own research,