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I want to unmask

Ellie

There's so much I want to say about this but I'm working out how to word it out on here. So, I'm just going to keep it brief and blunt. 

I have been masking my autism for many years and I want to unmask. But I don't know how. 

Please help.

Parents

  • Just to say I'm in the same boat - you're not alone!

    I'm suffering burnout and working out a healthier existence - which will involve unmasking - but expecting it to take a long time (years?) to work out what my authentic self is.

    As a child/teenager I was very gaffe-prone, clumsy with words and I've learnt to be so careful with words since. I don't want to unravel all of that because I prefer my new sensitive, considerate self. But keeping all my thoughts, opinions and quirky methods hidden and repressed is no good. So I think it'll be one thing at a time, judging the situation. And allowing as much alone/recovery time as possible after occasions of tricky/brave/intentional unmasking.

    I hope you find some joy with this.

Reply

  • Just to say I'm in the same boat - you're not alone!

    I'm suffering burnout and working out a healthier existence - which will involve unmasking - but expecting it to take a long time (years?) to work out what my authentic self is.

    As a child/teenager I was very gaffe-prone, clumsy with words and I've learnt to be so careful with words since. I don't want to unravel all of that because I prefer my new sensitive, considerate self. But keeping all my thoughts, opinions and quirky methods hidden and repressed is no good. So I think it'll be one thing at a time, judging the situation. And allowing as much alone/recovery time as possible after occasions of tricky/brave/intentional unmasking.

    I hope you find some joy with this.

Children
  • in reply to boaty

    I feel I have done stuff because I should instead of because I want to. That included entering into group chats about the inane stuff that allists talk about. For me the solution has been to not engage any more. I found at a club I joined, that if I didn't join in but took myself off to be quiet and alone, that people were understanding and left me alone. Only problem is they niw seem to think i dont want to talk at all. Now I miss grown up serious discussions.Cant win.

  • in reply to boaty

    I can relate to that a lot,

    Over the years I've noticed things about myself that I've definitely not liked and wanted to change, so this bits of the mask are ones I'll keep. 

    Mostly clumsiness with words and upsetting people as a result, usually people I really didn't want to upset!