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RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) help?

MrsPickles

How has anyone managed this?

I am really struggling with it and it's ruining everything.

I spend hours at night rehashing the previous conversations of the day and how I was awful, how I did xyz wrong. I then go on a spiral how they now hate me, so they'll do this, then this will happen..each scenario and memory playback gets so dramatic in the consequences..I end up in a complete state. 

I no longer want to go outside, it's happening with every interaction, even walking past a stranger and how my facial expression must of been wrong :( 

I am constantly calling my family to check out everything. I don't know how to stop all the panic. It's really unpleasant and I feel miserable. 

Can you give advice on how you stopped it and manage to get by day to day? 

Parents

  • I never knew what it was until this year, now I know I've been trying to do something about it.

    RSD has driven almost every decision and choice I've made in my entire life. Choice on big things like homes cars, jobs, also smaller stuff. Almost every decision. I've spent so much time trying not to upset people, trying not to disagree or in some way annoy them enough that they'll reject me or I'll lose them. Or, it's been for the sake of masking, to fit in, again, to not be rejected.

    One thing that's driven this  I believe is my lack of self worth. Why would anyone stick around with me if I was just the slightest bit disagreeable or didn't share their view?

    I noticed I almost don't have an opinion now unless I've asked someone else first or seen a pattern to follow. If I'm given a choice I freeze like a lamped rabbit. Even the daft things like choosing a drink based on what everyone else is having, right upto big choices.

    Don't let it take you over. As Iain also said, "mindfulness" will help. Notice when you're doing it and take a step back.  Take the risk of doing something your way, but make sure it's your way, not what you think people would want you to do. 

     I've realised the rejection itself is what I fear, even from people I wouldn't care less about having in my life, even some people I don't even remotely like. Why are we wasting this effort on them?!?

    A lifetime of masking and trying to fit into the herd is in my opinion what's driven me to be this way, it isn't easy changing it. But if you don't you'll be living a life that isn't authentic.

    People will want you , far more than the just fact that you agree with them, anyone who's worth having around will respect you for standing up to what you believe and not going along with everything too. 

    Obviously there are compromises to make in life, but don't make it every decision you make. Don't be a doormat.

    Not saying it's easy, changing this is the hardest thing I've ever done and I'm a long way from fixed. but if anyone's got a good chance of being a really authentic me, it's me. I don't want to be a poor copy of someone else.

    Stop, think "what do I really want to o do?"  then , unless there's something really important that takes priority, do it.

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  • I never knew what it was until this year, now I know I've been trying to do something about it.

    RSD has driven almost every decision and choice I've made in my entire life. Choice on big things like homes cars, jobs, also smaller stuff. Almost every decision. I've spent so much time trying not to upset people, trying not to disagree or in some way annoy them enough that they'll reject me or I'll lose them. Or, it's been for the sake of masking, to fit in, again, to not be rejected.

    One thing that's driven this  I believe is my lack of self worth. Why would anyone stick around with me if I was just the slightest bit disagreeable or didn't share their view?

    I noticed I almost don't have an opinion now unless I've asked someone else first or seen a pattern to follow. If I'm given a choice I freeze like a lamped rabbit. Even the daft things like choosing a drink based on what everyone else is having, right upto big choices.

    Don't let it take you over. As Iain also said, "mindfulness" will help. Notice when you're doing it and take a step back.  Take the risk of doing something your way, but make sure it's your way, not what you think people would want you to do. 

     I've realised the rejection itself is what I fear, even from people I wouldn't care less about having in my life, even some people I don't even remotely like. Why are we wasting this effort on them?!?

    A lifetime of masking and trying to fit into the herd is in my opinion what's driven me to be this way, it isn't easy changing it. But if you don't you'll be living a life that isn't authentic.

    People will want you , far more than the just fact that you agree with them, anyone who's worth having around will respect you for standing up to what you believe and not going along with everything too. 

    Obviously there are compromises to make in life, but don't make it every decision you make. Don't be a doormat.

    Not saying it's easy, changing this is the hardest thing I've ever done and I'm a long way from fixed. but if anyone's got a good chance of being a really authentic me, it's me. I don't want to be a poor copy of someone else.

    Stop, think "what do I really want to o do?"  then , unless there's something really important that takes priority, do it.

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