Published on 12, July, 2020
Grief is linked to death. If you’re diagnosed as autistic late in life, you’re saying goodbye to who you’ve been for many years…and that opens up a big box of feelings that take a long time – potentially years – to process.
How have you coped with your late autism diagnosis/realisation? I've made a video (in the usual place) about my own late diagnosis feelings.
I decided to remove my previous response, because I realised it could actually be offensive. I can say that easier - self realisation gave me new identity and language to name my issues which I always had, also helped me find other people with similar experience. I always felt I’m different, I felt inferior but I thought it was my personal failure. So what has changed is not me, but my identity and awareness. Identity itself is not so important, but in this case it actually is, because it’s an explanation to all my struggles. If I get diagnosed in the future it will be only a confirmation of what I already know and strongly suspect. Tge moment of Realisation wasn’t easy, I had meltdown and then I was in rejection to finally accept the new word “autism” as the description of my life experience. What I grieved were years of struggles and I didn’t know why and what was “wrong” with me. But being diagnosed earlier in life would not be a guarantee of me getting support. There are many diagnosed people who still don’t get support and understanding they need. Now I’m just in peace with myself although I’m still struggling with my mental health, especially emotional regulation and other things.