Post-diagnosis grief

Grief is linked to death. If you’re diagnosed as autistic late in life, you’re saying goodbye to who you’ve been for many years…and that opens up a big box of feelings that take a long time – potentially years – to process. 

How have you coped with your late autism diagnosis/realisation? I've made a video (in the usual place) about my own late diagnosis feelings.

Parents
  • Hi, I was diagnosed autistic about 2 years ago, aged 56. I was self diagnosed years before I had the courage to ask my GP for an assessment, (and then it was more than a 3 years wait) but being told officially did indeed open "a big box of feelings" which i am still processing.

    I'm not sure that it would have made much difference to the way I was treated by other people if I had been diagnosed as a child, but I would have at least understood why I was having so much difficulty fitting in, and I think I would have been kinder to myself about it and less ready to believe that I was a bad person. But at least I'm working on that now, with my new understanding. I've also read a lot of self help books and had some CBT therapy. And adopted an RSPCA cat called Fluff. They've all helped.

Reply
  • Hi, I was diagnosed autistic about 2 years ago, aged 56. I was self diagnosed years before I had the courage to ask my GP for an assessment, (and then it was more than a 3 years wait) but being told officially did indeed open "a big box of feelings" which i am still processing.

    I'm not sure that it would have made much difference to the way I was treated by other people if I had been diagnosed as a child, but I would have at least understood why I was having so much difficulty fitting in, and I think I would have been kinder to myself about it and less ready to believe that I was a bad person. But at least I'm working on that now, with my new understanding. I've also read a lot of self help books and had some CBT therapy. And adopted an RSPCA cat called Fluff. They've all helped.

Children
  • I think I would have been kinder to myself too. I'm sure I would still have been mistreated, but I wouldn't have blamed myself as much as I did. I went through a phase of reading self-help books because I thought I was the problem. I'm not the problem - I'm just autistic.