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How do you find talking to therapists?

Oran G. Utan

For about maybe seven months now, I've been using BetterHelp for private therapy. I can't say I've found there to be any progress, though I'm not sure I'm going in with the right expectations. My therapist tries to get me to reframe my thoughts. Use less negative language, try to imagine more positive outcomes to situations, that sort of thing. "What would it be like..." is her common language for this. To which my response is often along the lines of "Well that would be unrealistic because xyz". She also tends to point out my "yets" as hopeful, despite my assurance that it's just to avoid an absolute statement. I can't tell if I'm being too rigid and set in my ways, if her approach is ill effective for autism, or a bit of both.

For anyone that uses a therapist, how do you find your engagements with them?

Parents

  • I had a 9 week session on the NHS and I found it reasonably enlightening. I like many others don't seem to get any relief from either medication or CBT so I was sent along to speak to a therapist.

    Initially I was there to explore the reasons behind my depression and anxiety which turned out to be the elephant in the room, autism. At this point in time the fact that I was autistic was merely a suggestion and I had only recently been put on the assessment weighting list, which turned out to be very, very long.

    Once we were on this line of investigation I really began to explore what it meant to me and how it had impacted my life. Obviously there were stumbling blocks as I couldn't or maybe wouldn't comprehend my crippling social issues and that I mask constantly. We got there in the end with some tough questioning and with me being totally honest and open, which in truth is really difficult but completely necessary. I told her things that I thought were just matter of fact life stuff that she thought was massively important to how I felt and developed as a person. Who knew knew life experiences impacted who you view yourself.

    So I had  really positive experience and I would do it again if need be. I suppose it depends on who you get and what brand of therapy they prefer to practice. From what I was told that the therapist is supposed to use a certain technique which may or may not be helpful , mine liked to colour outside the lines which I thought was helpful as I often struggle with l thought and I'm fond of wandering off on a tangent.

    I hope that all this makes sense.

  • in reply to Hergé

    Also that’s pretty amazing having 9 weeks!! 

  • in reply to New beginning

    It is supposed to be a maximum of 8 weeks (officially) on the NHS but it can be up to 10 on the hush. I actually ended it as it really was becoming a "social chat and discussion" by the end of week 7 without a huge amount of self discovery and I felt I was possibly taking up someones' placement. So it was really 8 weeks with the last session being an overview etc.

    I've been told that can go back but I think I've covered that aspect. My main issue currently is stress which I still really can't get a handle on. One step at a time, I suppose. 

  • in reply to Hergé

    Thank you and likewise! 
    Being more self aware is a good thing I find yet not always easy.

  • in reply to New beginning

    As I've been told that I should not discount my achievements, no matter how small. I have achieved the mundane and ordinary in spite of myself and my condition. 

    I'm not even remotely religious or an alcoholic but the serenity prayer is something I keep in mind.

    God, give me grace to accept with serenity
    the things that cannot be changed,
    Courage to change the things
    which should be changed,
    and the Wisdom to distinguish
    the one from the other.

    Doesn't often help but it's in there. 

    I found being more self aware has it's own challenges but at least I can see them for what they are.

    Good luck with your journey.

  • in reply to Hergé

    That’s good and sounds like you got some where with it.

    I hope you can stress under control.Easier said than done.As you say one step at a time.
    You have come a long way so keep reminding yourself of that ! 

Reply Children
  • in reply to Hergé

    Thank you and likewise! 
    Being more self aware is a good thing I find yet not always easy.

  • in reply to New beginning

    As I've been told that I should not discount my achievements, no matter how small. I have achieved the mundane and ordinary in spite of myself and my condition. 

    I'm not even remotely religious or an alcoholic but the serenity prayer is something I keep in mind.

    God, give me grace to accept with serenity
    the things that cannot be changed,
    Courage to change the things
    which should be changed,
    and the Wisdom to distinguish
    the one from the other.

    Doesn't often help but it's in there. 

    I found being more self aware has it's own challenges but at least I can see them for what they are.

    Good luck with your journey.