A life time of Untreated ADHD leads to an appetite for destruction

I always thought, I don't have ADHD, I'm not hyperactive. End of story! But looking into it, last few years, I see so many traits, it's shocking!  Task Paralysis, sleep disorder. Mood disorders. I find out ADHD is very complex and multifaceted. And highly correlated with autism.

*** Cause the NHS is nightmare and well...ADD. So I feel very normal and energized.So I'm alert and awake a long time. I feel invincible. No fatigue. Crazy robustness. Like how I imagine a trained footballer feels after 90 minutes, muscle might ache, but boundless energy. Super fast thinking, talking also, sharper processing ***.More willpower also. More extroverted. So I think, is this what it feels to be normal. I feel like I cut 20 years of my age again... it's weird.

But i'm still angry, why should I have to damage my cardiovascular system JUST TO get a SEMBLANCE of normality. ADD is a thing I'm stuck with, and might not ever be able to fix. Even with Amphetamines, legal or otherwise, low dose, high dose. It's such a debilitating thing. And much like autism, This society does NOT GIVE A DAMN what happens to people with this. You're just a write off. So this leads to a VERY BIG chip on my shoulder. And i already have enough of them already. You cant SURVIVE in this world without discipline. Focus, attention and all that. Something nature has denied me.

ADD means I am at a disadvantage. And the NHS system is beyond broken and fairly unresponsive. It's an infuriating situation. And just a complete and utter joke that i am expected to compete with NT's in this cutthroat capitalist system.

[edited by moderator]