Published on 12, July, 2020
My son is Autistic....he has held down jobs with great difficulty, but now he just cant cope with the working world anymore. I just wondered if anyone else has difficulty coping with the lack of communication skills that their adult child struggles with, socialising, communication and lack of logic in their understanding!
NAS66084 said:he just cant cope with the working world anymore
Can you tell us specifically what he struggles with? That should give us something to work with for advice.
Communication skills can be learned but he has to work at it. A good start is this book:
The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships - Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism - Temple Grandin, Sean Barron (2005)ISBN: 9781941765388
There are also a few good books on working skills for autists (or people with Aspergers as a slightly older term is used):
An Aspie's Guide to Getting and Keeping a Job - Attwood, Tony, Evans, Craig R., Lesko, Anita (2015)eISBN 9781784501303
Helping Adults with Asperger's Syndrome Get & Stay Hired - Barbara Bissonnette (2015)ISBN 9781849057547
Reading all this and working to apply what is learned is not easy but well worth the effort - I would suggest getting your some to setup a timetable to read and apply this stuff and report to you each evening on progress.
You would also be useful for role playing situations to help then get some practice on what they learn.
I don’t know- I’m not sure forcing yourself to communicate in a way that doesn’t come naturally is the solution- it will likely lead to lots of masking, exhaustion and burnout. I think it is better to find a work place where less masking is needed. It should be a two way effort- it’s not just up to autistic people to conform but the manager and colleagues at work should also be a little understanding.
Ann :) said:I think it is better to find a work place where less masking is needed.
This would be an ideal case scenario, but I know of so few people who ever found such an employer that it seemed more sensible to give the son the skills to be able to exist in the workplace.
This is what the vast majority of those on this site who have a job have done and while it is not easy, it is an accessible route to getting and keeping a job.
Once the OP has given some more details we can refine the advice to meet their sons situation, or better still is the son can come on the site and ask for himself then he can empower himself and give us a clearer of his abilities, needs, wants and situation.
Ann :) said:i think science might be a bit of a unique scenario- so many undiagnosed autistic individuals so if you are lucky you can work with colleagues that are very likeminded. But also lots of very toxic environments etc.
IT is like this too - I know so many former colleagues who were clearly neurodivergent when I look back but unfortunately they rarely made it to management so most teams were led by neurotypicals with little tolerance for our needs.
Luckily if there is a diagnosis then there is more protection in the workplace now - not a lot to be honest but more than we had before so it is a step in the right direction.
Maybe some neurodivergence awareness may be added to management training in the future - let us hope this comes to pass.
Of course! That’s why I specified what I do as it might not apply for every job/ everyone. Probably a mixture of both is most realistic- get some skills to better communicate/ make it work and try to find somewhere where the environment is reasonable :) i think science might be a bit of a unique scenario- so many undiagnosed autistic individuals so if you are lucky you can work with colleagues that are very likeminded. But also lots of very toxic environments etc.