Wasted time with mental health

I was 19 when my mental health problems started and now here I am at 27. All that time wasted against myself. It kills me how my own mind can hate me so much.

I hate how during the passages of time I've changed in how I feel and how I am. Change is something that's affected my life greatly and in the last eight years I've lost people, people I loved and now looking back I realise I lost myself somewhere during the tragedy of those years. 

I'll get there I just wish it wasn't costing me so much time. Until tonight I never realised how much times been wasted during this. The sad reality is if my mum hadn't died then none of this would have happened.