Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello all,
So I work for the civil service so it is mandatory to work two days in the office. Even though I've struggled with this for some time, it's getting to me more and more. I've asked for dimmer, quitter areas. However, due to the building they 'can't' control specific lights, and my floor apparently doesn't have a quite area. I have sever anxiety and long term depression so some days it is worse. I'm finding it unbearable going into the office. I don't sleep well the night before, and the florescent lights and the noise is making me feel nauseous and it gets worse if someone sits on the desk next to me.
They have allowed me to wear noise cancelling headphones. However, The only other thing they suggested was get tinted glasses... Which ultimately would leave me at loss of money. Which I don't mind to an extent if it helps. However, I feel like I'm just getting phubbed of sometimes.
I was wondering if anyone else has felt like this or been is similar situations? and is there anyway you think they would allow me to try dropping down to one day in the office? I have a feeling they won't and I'm just clutching at straws here. But I'm so tired of masking and feeling sick for days because of this.
I find it so hard to talk about my feelings, especially in person, so when they come over and ask me how I am I just go yeah just doing work or not bad...I've tried writing emails to explain but I don't think they understand. I hate feeling like I'm being unreasonable even thinking about seeing if they would allow me to only do one day in the office as a reasonable adjustment.
I'm just so tired of fighting this never ending battle and trying to endure everything. I just want to go into hibernation. Working 40 hours a week just isn't a good work life balance. Thank you for reading, sorry for moaning.
Alexios said:I'm just so tired of fighting this never ending battle and trying to endure everything.
Why not try to find another job that allows remote working?
I was a manager in the civil service and understand what you mean about them being good at deflecting your requests, but you will need to think hard about what you need and how it can reasonably be catered for,
You know that office work is a pre-requisite so you need to develop ideas on how to make this more manageable for you. Asking them to change the rules just for you won't work as that opens the doors to everybody else asking for the same - not acceptable to them so they will make that a non-negotiable element.
You have worked out about using devices to negate the noise isssue and it looks like light is the next challenge. The lights are largely overhead so if it is direct light that is the biggest issue then consider one of the transparent, tinted eyeshades like these:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_eyeshade
They should filter the light to make it less harsh. Wear it in a position where it blocks the light ahead and above you and this should help. If you can't block it out, consider using a laptop only in the office (no external screens) so you are looking slightly down and thus the light is more effectively blocked.
Alexios said:I find it so hard to talk about my feelings, especially in person, so when they come over and ask me how I am I just go yeah just doing work or not bad
This one is easy. Write to HR and tell them your anxiey makes these interactions confrontational for you and you become defensive so please keep all these checks in email / messaging format. With this logged in with them you can prepare a list of possible responses in a document and can just copy/paste the appropriate parts to save time.
Alexios said:Working 40 hours a week just isn't a good work life balance.
Alas this is the western worlds standard more or less. At least in the UK there is a generous holiday allowance and lots of bank holidays plus the Civil Service has lots of perks of extra days after time served. You actually have one of the best packages I've come across in my working career there.
I would hope that by taking more control of your approach to this it will help for feel that you are enabling yourself and this will lower anxiety.
Other tricks that may produce good results for your anxiety are mindfulness and meditation - not easy to do when you are already anxious so a good therapist would be a good bet to train you and help you master these skills.